Let's Talk

Also known as things that bother me, this instant.

Let's talk Facebook. Listen, I love Facebook obsessively. I think it's a great networking tool, and a great stalking tool. I originally did NOT love the overdose of applications, but I admittedly opened my heart to a pile of them, namely, the Britney Spears Status, LOLCats and, of course, my latest love, PIECES OF FLAIR. YES, LIKE FROM OFFICE SPACE. I love it. Here's what I don't like. PEOPLE YOU MAY KNOW on my homepage. I just discussed this with a really MANLY plaything. He loves it. I disagree. I bet he adds EVERYONE OFF THERE. He claims it's a genius application. Great. Mark Zuckerberg clearly wants me to add more friends. I get it. Too bad my PEOPLE YOU MAY KNOW box is full of 2 categories of people: people I legitimately DO NOT KNOW and people I DO know but have deleted. YES. THAT'S RIGHT. I DELETE. I go on rampages sometimes. It bothers me once in a blue moon when I have too many friends. Right now I'm at 593. I think that's a safe number. The MAN says it's full of awkward people. He's right, it is. In my case, it's REALLY AWKWARD PEOPLE. Which brings me to what else bothers me today about Facebook: awkward friend requests, resulting from PEOPLE YOU MAY KNOW. Since this new fancy-poo function came out, I get friend requests. FROM PEOPLE I'VE DELETED and/or people I never wanted to add. I'm going to send the following to Facebook's creator.

Dear Mark Zuckerberg,
May I call you Marky? How about Precious Zucks? I think you're hunky. It's too bad you won't add me as a friend on Facebook. I mean hello? I'm a nice Jewish girl from Montreal. Anyway, I'll send you some headshots later. You won't be able to resist.
Look Mark. I think you've done an amazing job on this whole Facebook thing. You've let me stalk a bunch of ex boyfriends from the comfort of my bedroom! I can't get arrested this way! (Not that I ever have, that was a joke. Seriously. Good little Jewish girls don't get arrested.) Why is it you insist on making new ways to find friends? It was bad enough that you put the email thing in. People I've deleted shouldn't be allowed to see me. Ever. I don't like having a block list the size of my ass (which, by the way, is really lovely, if you ever cared to ADD ME). While I FULLY appreciate the new privacy format, with limiting specific people to specific things, it upsets me TO NO END that I cannot see a preview of what limited profile folks can see. Maybe I just didn't discover that yet. Either way, it is NOT USER FRIENDLY. Facebook is SUPPOSED to be FUN and EASY. It also really upsets me when I see that a couple has broken up on my news feed. Good thing I know how to bypass that!
Listen Marky, I really think you've done a great job. Just figure out a way to LIMIT DELETED FRIENDS FROM RE-ADDING ME. That, and add me please. I can show you what Montreal girls are made of!

With love, your pal,
Miss Ditz