Greetings From The Bunny Patch

I'm technically the only person in the office who dressed up for Halloween. Shocker. I brought Top Worker Bee a set of ears to wear. At least I'm not alone.

I'm a bunny. A grey bunny. In my bunny patch with Bunny-Worker-Bee.

Today is my favorite day of the year. Not because it's Halloween and I can load up on candy. Today is the eve of November 1. No, not because we'll be one month away from my birthday (National Holiday).

Why?

BECAUSE TOMORROW IS THE DAY THAT 92.9 LITE ROCK STATION STARTS PLAYING HOLIDAY/CHRISTMAS MUSIC. ALL. DAY. LONG. UNTIL CHRISTMAS.

Ditz & Prince's costumes for tonight's festivities are technically still up in the air. Let's not talk about that.

Google = COOLEST EVER.

Debatedly COOLER THAN YOU.

Also, potentially COOLER THAN THE HAIR ON A POLAR BEAR'S TUSSY.

[I started this post on the 11th and promptly forgot about it. Whoops. You don't want to know how many posts are still unfinished drafts. Okay. Maybe 5.]

I came across this teensy little gem ages ago. It's a charming little Google Lab tool, for your Gmail. Hey. Remember that drunk email you sent me at 4 a.m. telling me how much you hate my blog?

I GOT IT.

Didn't turn on your Google GOGGLES, eh?

So, what does this do? Turn it on, and during high-traffic "alcohol consumption" times, you're prompted to answer 3 magical mathematical questions before your email is allowed to travel the wonders of cyberspace.

Right, cool.

So, what happens during 4 p.m. happy hour? What about my Mid-Morning Monday Martoonis? WHAT ABOUT THOSE EMAILS? And HEY. Those math questions are SUPER EASY. I studied MATH in university. Simple multiplication is JOKES. THROW SOME INTEGRALS IN THERE. HOW ABOUT A LAPLACE TRANSFORMATION?

GET BACK TO THE LAB, GOOGLE, AND DON'T COME BACK UNTIL I SAY SO.

Another Sale - Hide Your Credit Cards

Marcelle/Annabelle Cosmetics Sale [HEY, I GOT PICTURES OF THE FLIER. I AM FANCY.]

Special thanks to Disaster Pet for passing this one along. Who knew he liked lip gloss that much?

[Note: click on the images to ENLARGE and read INFORMATION]

Riddle Me This, BATMAN

I wish this was a Batman-related post.

IT'S NOT.

Currently sitting across a table from Hello Kitten, working like little bees on a communications plan DUE TOMORROW. Why are we puttering about now? Because we're last-minute kittens.
Why is this relevant?

An unnamed group member of ours opted to write her sections in her mother tongue, FRENCH. That's cool and all, sure, but don't send the designated editors HALF-FRENCH/HALF-ENGLISH PARTS.

That's not the punch line. Wait for it.


Some of the sentences in her original text were beyond incomprehensible. I'd put examples, but that's just PLAIN MEAN. Hello Kitten and I proceeded to read them out loud several times, and couldn't get ourselves off the floor. I wanted to share this with the world, and by the world, I mean Disaster Pet.

You know something? He's really smart. The instant I sent it to him he pegged it.
BABELFISH TRANSLATIONS. AT A UNIVERSITY LEVEL. Seriously. And JUST to prove he was right, I put the "english" sentence into the fishy translator and BOOM. Coherent French sentence.

WHEN WILL YOU PEOPLE LEARN? Babelfish doesn't translate FULL SENTENCES. It does it WORD - BY - WORD.

I called my mother to tell her about this. She loves my "Group-Work-Blows" stories. LOVES.

"IS THAT GIRL DEMENTED?"
"Yes, Mom. I think she may be."
"ARE YOU CRYING???"
"NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT MOMMY."

I MAY have to make an ultimate list of lessons learned from McGill Public Relations Group Projects.

YET ANOTHER EMPTY PROMISE, DITZ.

Halloweeny Options, Featuring Ditz

It's only Wednesday, and everyone's FAVORITE Pagan holiday is RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER, and I have already gone through 7 costume options.

ALL NIXED.

In no particular order, I bring you Ditz's Rejected Halloween 2008 Costumes:

1. Sarah Palin - it's 90% nixed. EVEN THOUGH I AM CLEARLY AS SEXY AS SEXY SARAH, I can't see myself having enough hours in the next two days to master that MAVERICK's brilliant accent.
2. Girl Scout - COMPLETE with inappropriately shaped cookies and a sash with "badges". NOT EVERY COSTUME HAS TO BE SLUTTY.
3. Bee - I wanted a reason to wear that STUPID black and yellow striped tank top that a former friend FORCED me to buy years ago at H&M. It may or may not have the tags still on.
4. Cougar - as in creature of the night, not feline. Some people say it's not socially acceptable to prey on my sister's 12/13 year old male friends. Those people JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT'S COOL.
5. 2 Headed Monster - rejected for bathroom purposes. Duh. I like privacy.
6. Princess - no. I wish.
7. Pregnant Prom Queen - I selfishly wanted a portable stand for martoonis. I don't own any clothes that fit over maternity bellies, and apparently nobody who was recently pregnant bought any maternity dresses. Truth: it might still happen. I have a belly being delivered. I have amazing connections.
8. Shotgun Wedding - I don't want to be jinxed THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
9. Pavarotti & a Margherita Pizza and/or any combination of Large Celebrity & Snack Food - rejected for practical reasons. I am neither large nor snacky.
10. Bristol Palin - similar issues to #7, although this one's incredibly TOPICAL.
11. Retired Playboy Bunny - you know, she was fired because she got knocked up! ANOTHER USE FOR PREGNANCY BELLY.

Relating to All Hallow's Eve, I went to the local Dollar Boutique on Monday, to get accessories [Monday, I was going to be Sarah Palin, but then I changed my mind. 78 times.] for my costume, and I was paying for the following items: a tiara, a recorder (musical instrument, not recording device) and a toy shotgun. The kind elderly lady behind me [NO, SHE DIDN'T TRY TO PUSH IN FRONT OF ME] remarked on my purchases.

"Oh, so you're going as a princess for Halloween? How lovely!"

"Err, not exactly. More like SARAH PALIN. See? I have a shotgun. See? A recorder in case there's a talent competition!!"

[Lady is uneasy]

"Oh. Well... That's... interesting? Have fun!"

Which leads me to believe that she A. thinks I'm a lunatic or B. has no idea who Sarah Palin is.

Correct Answer: C. all of the above.

SO, You Think You're FUNNY, EH?

Dear Mother Nature,

This is because I didn't put on my winter tires yet, right? This is because I laugh at all things GREEN, right?

Fall is my favorite season. WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU DOING HERE? BEING FUNNY? NO.

When I was getting GASOLINE this morning for my gas-guzzling Mazda 3, Princess, I was thinking how GLAD I am that it ISN'T SNOWING YET, because pumping gas outside when there's snow and it's cold IS JUST PLAIN MISERABLE. DID YOU NOT HEAR ME THINK THAT??

I thought we had an understanding. You lay off the snow until my birthday, and I try hard not to pollute.

THE LEAST YOU COULD'VE DONE WAS MAKE IT THAT LIGHT WATERY SNOW THAT MELTS IMMEDIATELY. No, you had to make it HEAVY STICKY SNOWBALL-GRADE SNOW.

BUT I DON'T HAVE WINTER TIRES ON YET.

Are you in cahoots with the winter tire manufacturers? How much are they paying you? It's a little too convenient that it suddenly snowed TODAY when the weather was LOVELY and peachy and the leaves haven't even finished falling and they were crunchy and fun. It's because they passed that INFERNAL law about mandatory winter tires, isn't it?

Oh. I know why. It's because I wore my fake-fur moccasins to work today. Oh.

I get it.

Sigh.

Let's reconsider the snow situation, okay? Thanks.
Your pal,
Miss Ditz

WHO'S LAUGHING NOW? ME, THAT'S WHO.

Pre-blog, I went on an excursion to Toronto, to visit my favorite Toronto Kitten. She conned me into buying THE most INAPPROPRIATE dress EVER. It's been worn EXACTLY ONCE, and that ONE time, it got LOOKS. Not your average "Oh, hey, that's a COOL DRESS" looks, or even "WELL, it's a little out there, but she is ADORABLE" looks. More like "CHRIST, THAT GIRL HAS SOME NERVE" looks.


You all laughed at me, and told me this was not a dress for a nice girl from Cote St Luc. BUT I KEPT IT ANYWAYS.

Words do not do this FROCK justice. But do you know what DOES do it justice? THIS.

No, your eyes do not deceive you. THAT'S A ZIPPER THAT RUNS FROM THE TOP TO THE BOTTOM. It fits like a Herve Leger bandage dress. Except it's not.

Guess what.

People Magazine's Style Watch in this week's issue (MADONNA AND GUY RITCHIE SPLIT: NO PRENUP, NO SOULS, NO MERCY!) features something interesting. ZIPPER DRESSES.

HAH.

SO. THERE. ONCE AGAIN, DITZ IS AHEAD OF SCHEDULE.

IN ADDITION

I feel like today is one of those days where I post 193754 entries. I'm in the GROOVE. Maybe I should be drying my hair and going to work.
MAYBE NOT.

Say it, all together now: MISPLACED PRIORITIES.

Quickly, because I already did NOT get my $5 today for leaving on time.

Last week, Miss Ditz hit a new high of weekly readers. 305 VISITS.

I know it seems PALTRY at best, (no, not POULTRY) BUT IT'S A START. I THINK IT'S A BIG DEAL.

So, some randomized shout outs: Obviously HELLO to all my magnificent Canadian readers. HELLO to my kitten readers in L.A. HELLO to my delicious readers in Denver and HELLO to my pets in New York!

You're all PRECIOUS and I LOVE you all.

Well, maybe MOST of you.
XOXO

Something That Makes Me LOL

I really do NOT love the Pussycat Dolls. I loved the original burlesque show concept. The band? NO.

They have this ONE song that really GRINDS MY GEARS. You know which one? "When I grow up, I wanna have [INSERT HERE]"

I argued endlessly with my male pets. "GUYS. IT'S GROUPIES, NOT BOOBIES."

And they'd say, "DITZ, IT'S ABOUT BOOBIES. THEY'RE THE PUSSYCAT DOLLS."

And Ditz'd GRUNT and ignore them.

Momma Ditz & I read People Magazine like it would be the Bible. I saw this bit weeks ago, but consistently forgot to mention it. One week, they wrote about the song, and about how the Pussycat Dolls wanted BOOBIES when they grew up. I snorted when I saw that. Great. So the lyrics are really BOOBIES. PEOPLE MAGAZINE DOESN'T LIE.

Or do they...

The following week, because I am a SUPER NERD, I was scanning their corrections box. I love when magazines screw up. Turns out, THEY SCREWED UP THE LYRICS.

IT'S GROUPIES.

DITZ: 1, MALE PETS: 0.

Heard Outside a Manicure Salon

I have excellent priorities. What does a little Ditz do with an hour before she's due in class? GET A MANICURE. So, while waiting for Hello Kitten to prance on over from her studies at the library, Ditz took in some FRESH air and sat outside the manicure salon.

Seen: 2 ladies walking. One was notably wearing a great pair of moccasin boots. Someone tell me where to get a GOOD pair. Thanks.

Heard: tidbits of their conversation, arguably about male-dominated situations.

Quote: "GIRL, YOU'VE JUST GOT TO GET A GRIP ON YOURSELF!"

I wish I was obnoxious enough to say that to people I barely know. I would also tell those people that leggings aren't pants, and that their cankles don't look cute.

But really Ditz, why is this quote quotable? (Potable Potents? What is this? Jeopardy?)

Too often I find myself - and I'm sure you find yourself too - censoring how I really feel about situations. No, that's a lie. Everyone knows I say the bitter truth. It's really YOU. We ALL know the truth hurts. Get over it. Be real. GET A GRIP!

Rocking Presentations: Version 2.4

This may become a recurring series, given that I have piles of presentations coming up.

You all may remember my previous entry on this subject, http://theanecditz.blogspot.com/2008/04/skewed-priorities-or-how-to-rock.html
or the fact that I tend to spend more time primping than working on school-related work.

Not news.

Last time, my presentation was a group presentation. Last night, my presentation was a SOLO VENTURE. I haven't done one of those in ages. Potentially ever.

So, as per usual, I give you Ditz's Guide to Rocking Presentations Like a Hurricane.

• Make sure your topic is something you know the MOST ABOUT in your entire class (and/or the world). It's not fun to present something that EVERYONE ALREADY UNDERSTANDS.
• Spend an unusually large amount of time choosing a catchy title. It's important to GRAB your audience in the first 12 seconds of your presentation. Good titles make you think. GREAT TITLES have a colon in them. No, not THAT KIND.
• Use PowerPoint. Everyone loves PowerPoint. That, and it looks like you put it A HECK OF A LOT MORE WORK INTO IT than you actually have.
• 3 days before the presentation: decide that working on anything else aside from it is a priority. Tell people you're really stressed.
• 2 days before the presentation: start working intensely hard on your slides.
• On PowerPoint - pick a slide design template that has at least ONE shade of pink. Everyone LOVES pink.
• Put at least ONE clip art image on each slide. Clip art is equivalent to sunshine on a cloudy day.
• Make sure you have a pile and a half of fun graphs, charts, useless pictures to hand out. Everyone loves a distraction.
• When a professor says they want a "Business" presentation, what they REALLY mean is they want an ENTERTAINING & FUN & CASUAL presentation. Obviously.
• Day of presentation: be really stressed. Call in sick to work. Take a 2 hour power nap filled with HIGH ANXIETY dreams about sleeping through your presentation.
• Spend vast majority of your day dreaming about what outfit to wear. Spend the other part of your day endlessly recounting how REAL your anxiety dreams were.
• 4 hours before presentation: trek over to local Bureau En Gros to save on your own personal ink supply and print out FUN HANDOUTS on glossies.
• Spend 20 minutes arguing with Bureau En Gros technicians at how they actively try to ruin your life by not having any functioning color printers AT ANY OF THEIR LOCATIONS.
• Print out dozens of Wikipedia articles on your topic for reference points. Hello? Wikipedia is THE ultimate source of all truths.
• 2 hours before presentation: have an ultimate freak-out breakdown. Uninvite your precious Prince from attending. HE is the reason you're stressed. It's not the fact that you're still missing 2 crucial slides; it's that you're nervous to perform in front of him. HE MIGHT JUDGE YOU.
• 95 minutes before presentation: finish slides. Calm down.
• 1 hour before presentation: show Momma slides. After all, she GAVE YOU LIFE, she deserves to see your slides.
• T-45 minutes: take a leisurely shower. You have to look your best, and you KNOW IT.
• Change your outfit 12 times. Decide on something borderline provocative. If they aren't going to focus on your presentation, let them focus on your goods.
• Arrive 12 minutes late to class. You need to make an entrance and you know it.
• When the projector doesn't work, sit on a desk and present casually.
• 1 word: SMILE. Everyone needs to see what your parents paid good money to fix. Take cues from the Cheshire Cat. He knows where it's at!
• Keeping in mind that you have a time limit of 10-15 minutes, ignore that, and talk for 35-40 minutes. You're interesting, your topic is the best AND YOU HAVE NO REGARD FOR ANYONE ELSE'S TIME.
• Graciously accept any/all questions from the peanut gallery. Questions = interest. Lack of questions = you suck.
• Curtsy when your classmates clap for you. YOU ROCK!

My classmates told me I was delicious. I only half believe them. I do believe they were just mesmerized by the fact that my presentation was based on the art of blogging and Facebook.

Let's be serious here. Beyond shoes, what else am I physically capable to talk about?

Get Your Life Jacket Ready

Little Ditz enters the next wave:

Ditz is a Twitter.

https://twitter.com/lilmissjackie

C'est moi, precious kittens!

Follow me!

How To Conquer Second Cup During Study Hours

...And successfully take over two tables.

Scene: Deuxieme Tasse at Parc & Milton
Players: Miss Ditz & Munchkin Kitten

Issue: Crowded coffee house = lack of appropriately sized tables for study/work use.

Solution:

1. Stalk out all potential seats. Tables NOT near power outlets = bad. Tables with uncomfortable chairs = bad.
2. Find a single table with two chairs next to an unwilling neighbor.
3. Make sure you have at least 2 giant bags with you. Laptop and annoyingly large pencil case are bonuses.
4. So are Apple Babas.
5. Shift table away from unfriendly neighbor, stating that you're moving the table so you're not ON TOP OF HER.
6. Ignore her rude glares.
7. Mention casually - and LOUDLY - how much you hope people leave so you can grab their better tables.
8. Notice girls misusing a set of tables. Mention loudly that a second table is NOT a storage unit.
9. Discuss openly the fact that if they don't smarten up and move, you will MAKE THEM MOVE.
10. Smile casually when unfriendly neighbor starts packing up her bags and abandons ship.
11. Throw out her coffee for her.
12. MOVE TABLES TOGETHER. AND. CONQUER.

Moral of the story: if you whine and kvetch obnoxiously enough, you can subtly bully ANYONE into leaving their table and work environment.

Food For Thought

God, I wish this was a post about snacks. I love snacks.

It's not.

Heard on Montreal's Light Rock Station Q92 this week:
Montreal has been rated as one of the most UNFRIENDLY major metropolis cities in the world. New York is apparently the friendliest.

I mention this because I victimize strangers with elevator eyes on a daily basis.

No, not really.

I mention this because a friendly American Worker Bee stepped into my office and announced that he'd gotten clear lost during his first sojourn in our fair city and NOT A SINGLE PERSON HELPED HIM OUT.

Typical. I'd likely snort at someone who asked me for directions. That, or I'd send them in the opposite direction.

NO. NOT ACTUALLY. Well, maybe. Depends on the day.

Maybe we should take this little snackpack of love and think. The price of a smile is free. EVEN AT MCDONALD'S. You can order a BAG FULL of smiles. WHAT WOULD IT COST YOU TO BE NICE TO THAT OLD MAN WHO DOESN'T KNOW WHERE HE'S GOING?

Oh right. Your soul.

Hey? Kittens? Go smile at 4 strangers today. Just do it. Ditz says so.

BAD NEWS - SAMPLE SALE RELATED

Shocker - the Juicy sale was canceled.

HOWEVER.

The company that "deals" with this sale CLAIMS they're just opening an ALL THE TIME outlet store.

SKEPTICAL DITZ DOESN'T BELIEVE THIS. Do you?

Are You Sure You Want That Elastic?

I sincerely love hilariously disturbing news bits.

http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2007-11/13/content_6251535.htm


Remember that trip you took to China? Remember those really cheap colorful hair elastics you found in the marketplace?

Unravel them. Find a used condom inside. Throw them out.

I'm not going to lie. This is completely revolting, BUT, also a strangely innovative use for used condoms. When I originally found this GEM, I understood that they were using FRESH "defective" condoms. UMM. NO. They're used. You can get diseases by putting it in your mouth. DELICIOUS!

I find this whole situation mindboggling. I LIKE the idea of recycle-cycling things that would normally be taking up space in our beautiful planet's landfills. I DON'T like the idea of companies HIDING crucial information about what they're selling you. Who do they think they are? Maple Leaf Foods?

What's next? Used Band-Aids as garnish in my martini? Pencil-shavings in my moisturizer?

This whole notion of companies hiding seemingly "useless" information isn't news. I just don't understand. Everything ALWAYS gets out into the media and public. WHY HIDE IT?

No, wait. Better question:

WHY ARE YOU HIDING USED CONDOMS IN HAIR ELASTICS?

Specimen Moment

Hello Kitten? This is for you.

Background information: Hello Kitten and I had a lovely shopping excursion a few weeks ago. We went to her beloved sneaky boutique and tried on the entire store. We're good like that. Hello Kitten was struggling to put on one dress, and upon exiting the fitting room, Friendly Salespet and I informed her that no, the dress isn't too small. Hello Kitten struggled because she didn't notice the INSIDE ZIPPER on the frock.

I laughed at Hello Kitten's mishap, saying "Oh, Ditz NEVER misses a zipper. Ditz is WAYYYY too smart to make mistakes LIKE THAT."

Uh huh.

Flash forward to this morning.

Ditz puts on a new frock that she purchased with Momma Ditz. STRUGGLES ENDLESSLY to get it over her head.

Mmm hmm. What did Ditz not notice? HIDDEN SIDE ZIPPER. Ditz = blind. Legally.

Seriously?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27065016/?GT1=43001

I don't even know where to begin on this one.

I find it completely unsettling that our friends in Nepal have named a 3 year old the latest living deity.

That's not my problem with this though. It's common in their culture to have baby girls as living gods. Okay, cool. I didn't say much when that impoverished village took that baby who was born with a few extra limbs and made her [or was it a him? I don't remember] a god. Same goes for the two-faced baby. Way to capitalize on birth defects. You don't see THAT in Cote St. Luc.

I actually read this entire article. It's short and "sweet". Usually, I read the bottom first, then scan the top for other important facts.

It's not the part about the tests that bother me. It's not even the fact that she's removed from her family until she becomes a biological woman.

It's this:
Critics say the tradition violates both international and Nepalese laws on child rights. The girls often struggle to readjust to normal lives after they return home.
Nepalese folklore holds that men who marry a former kumari will die young, and so many girls remain unmarried and face a life of hardship.

FOR 10 YEARS OF BEING A LIVING DEITY, THIS GIRL WILL NEVER HAVE A NORMAL LIFE WHEN IT'S OVER. Is it really worth it? SHE MAY NEVER GET MARRIED. How can this girl actually adjust to normal, impoverished Nepalese life after spending crucial years being prodded and worshiped by her village?

These girls are the pageant-heads of tomorrow.

GUESS WHAT SEASON IT IS??

3 WORDS:

1. SAMPLE
2. SALE
3. SEASON

I thought this time of year would NEVER COME.

So, because I love you all dearly and I implore you to shop like the Ditz, I list for you this month's - SO FAR - sample sales.

Rudsak [leather purses, jackets, accessories]: 9160 St. Laurent, Suite 202
October 16: 10 a.m. - 7 p.m.
October 17: 10 a.m. - 7 p.m.
October 18: 10 a.m. - 4 p.m.

Se Ce Apparel [Juicy Couture, Seven for all Mankind, Vince, Ed Hardy..]: 4910A Jean Talon W.
October 17: 9 a.m. - 7 p.m.
October 18: 10 a.m. - 4 p.m.

How International [C&C California, Joe's Jeans, Frankie B...]: 6585 St Urbain
October 23: 12 p.m. - 8 p.m.
October 24: 12 p.m. - 8 p.m.
October 25: 10 a.m. - 5 p.m.

Braderie de Mode Quebecoise [Mackage, Soia & Kyo, Rudsak...]: Marche Bonsecours
October 23: 10 a.m. - 9 p.m.
October 24: 10 a.m. - 9 p.m.
October 25: 10 a.m. - 5 p.m.
October 26: 10 a.m. - 5 p.m.

I'm sure you're all wondering what's what, what's worth going to, all those kinds of details. Allow me to proceed...

• Rudsak's exclusive sale is pretty decent. Know your prices. Snap up leather jackets if you find one you like. From what I remember, they take cash, credit cards, interac. They just want you to buy. It's worth it if you love Rudsak and/or leather
• Se Ce is that elusive Juicy sale that everyone raves about. That's the one you need to show up hours upon hours in advance. Is it worth it? Yes. Juicy suits at half price. Sevens for $100. Discounted Vince cashmere. They also take all forms of payment. It's obnoxious to wait in line for hours, but it's also obnoxious to pay $250+ for a Juicy velour track suit.
• How Int'l I don't know much about. I saw the event on Facebook. The flier seems pleasant. They ONLY take cash. Keep that in mind if you decide to go.
• Braderie de Mode Quebecoise is top notch. I try to make an appearance every time they have this sale [once in Fall, and once again in late Spring]. The Mackage & Soia & Kyo coats are on sale for MAJOR CHEAPS. They also have a Rudsak section, so if you miss the Rudsak sale, you still have a chance to pick up some purses. There are also piles of Quebec designers who set up shop with samples. Great place to pick up original and unique pieces. Mackage/Soia takes cash only. Most of the vendors are cash only. Marche Bonsecours happens to have an ATM, but bring cash if you're planning on spending.

Enjoy sweet kittens! Be fruitful and SHOP!

You're Going To Laugh...

I know I always talk shopping and shoes and things that are pretty. I know I also talk a lot about how much of a Ditz I am. I know you all LIKELY think that there's not much that goes on inside my head beyond Betsey Johnson, Coach, shoes, poutine, sparkly shiny objects and candy. THAT IS NOT THE CASE, MY PETS.

Sometimes, actually ALWAYS, I like to check out the hilarious headliners on the MSN homepage. I refuse to change my browser homepage to anything else, because I feel like it connects me to the world and/or current events.

http://tech.msn.com/products/slideshow.aspx?cp-documentid=10762232

Chill kittens. It's a slide show with minimal blurb writing article. You won't need to focus THAT MUCH.

I came across this article, partly because I was swayed by the title, and partly because I always read articles that have a picture of the Nintendo Wii on the front page. I'm a 15 year old boy sometimes.

The reason I draw your attention to this little gem is not what you're expecting. I'm not pushing you to run out and spend a fortune on the underrated products. Quite the opposite, actually...

A week or so ago, I discovered Google Documents, Google Calendar. A few months ago, I "bought" an iPod Touch. I drool when I see a Nintendo Wii [I'm currently thinking of elaborate ploys to permanently "borrow" my Prince Delish's Wii]. I secretly wish I wasn't so oddly cheap and used iTunes.

Why is this relevant?

I was going to post a blog endlessly and shamelessly promoting Google functions. I was going to talk about how Google Calendar is potentially the greatest thing to enter my life since Michael Kors and Marc Jacobs. I probably would have mentioned how Google Calendar has replaced my STUPID french agenda, because Google Calendar is ENGLISH [or any language you ask for, except Pirate English - anyone notice that on Facebook? ARRRRRR].

Check out the article. All the fun things that I love in the techworld ARE OVERRATED. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. From the Wii to iPhone, iPod Touch to iTunes. EVEN GOOGLE FUNCTIONS ARE THERE.

TYPICAL. I WOULD LIKE THINGS THAT ARE OVERRATED.

You know what else is overrated? Facebook.

Know what wasn't listed as overrated? My Blog.

Facebook: Friend or Foe?

For a change, I don't have anything negative to say about Mark Zuckerberg's latest changes. I'm a little bit used to New Facebook. I actually like it. Like really like it.

I was recently looking at friends' profiles [yes, I do that, and you do too, stop denying it] and marveling at how much I can learn about someone just by stalking their profile. Now, I know what you're thinking. THANKS CAPTAIN OBVIOUS. Obviously you can gather valuable information from a PERSONAL PROFILE, but that isn't my point. We're getting there.


I'm talking more about what your profile says about you. How many friends you have. How many tagged pictures, IF you allow people to see tagged pictures. Your wall posts. Your about me. Your status changes. How often you update your status, and what you're updating for.

I love Facebook. I think it's one of the most brilliant networking tools that exist today. I know this is an obvious topic to mention. Shoot me.

In an age where it's not uncommon to broadcast your entire life on the Internet, it's interesting to see who posts what, and where. I marvel at Facebook friends who post albums of their new haircut, who change their statuses to coordinate with their ever-changing schedule. Does anybody really care about your haircut? We don't care if you're eating soup for dinner for the 8th night in a row. We don't care if you're going to sleep early YET AGAIN. I'm not saying I'm a perfect Facebook specimen. I'm insanely guilty of a hectic profile.

It's curious what different people deem as appropriate amounts of personal information. I can't see your wall, but your list of favorite bands is extensive. You have 1034 friends, but you won't post a profile picture. Just how much information is too much?

Looking at assorted profiles, victims ranging in age, I can't make a serious hypothesis. Really, it depends on the user. Internet privacy is such a funny bird. Every time I add a new friend, I always check out my own profile. This is what they can see about me. Everything you see posted on my profile has a place. Everything has a reason. It's completely calculated. Have I put too much thought into my profile page?

Maybe you just haven't put enough into yours.

Take a good, hard, long look at your profile. Maybe you're revealing too much. Maybe you're not revealing enough. Time for a profile update!

Everything Is Changing.. And I Feel The Same

Sometimes, little Ditzes feel strangely in tune with nature.

I felt the changing of the seasons a few nights ago. The wind was out of control, blowing gusts through the changing leaves on the trees. I wished I'd thought of bringing gloves. I wished I knew where I put all those scarves of mine, because pashminas just DON'T CUT IT. I was infinitely thankful that I was wearing a sensible coat.

It's that time of year.

Leaves turning from green, to yellow, to orange and red.

So, with the changing of the seasons, I bring you some real changes. Seasons change. Life changes. Styles change. Fall is my season of rebirth. As celebration of these 6 months of AnecDitzisms, we're doing a teensy overhauling. Where do you all come in? I encourage you to comment. Tell me when you like something I write. Tell me when you disagree with me. Communicate with the Ditz. My changes won't be possible without your cooperation. Don't let the Ditz down.

I'm going to be more consistent in my postings, I need to decide on which days I'll officially be posting, because we ALL know me writing every single day is so not realistic. And so not happening. YET.