SO, You Think You're FUNNY, EH?

Dear Mother Nature,

This is because I didn't put on my winter tires yet, right? This is because I laugh at all things GREEN, right?

Fall is my favorite season. WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU DOING HERE? BEING FUNNY? NO.

When I was getting GASOLINE this morning for my gas-guzzling Mazda 3, Princess, I was thinking how GLAD I am that it ISN'T SNOWING YET, because pumping gas outside when there's snow and it's cold IS JUST PLAIN MISERABLE. DID YOU NOT HEAR ME THINK THAT??

I thought we had an understanding. You lay off the snow until my birthday, and I try hard not to pollute.

THE LEAST YOU COULD'VE DONE WAS MAKE IT THAT LIGHT WATERY SNOW THAT MELTS IMMEDIATELY. No, you had to make it HEAVY STICKY SNOWBALL-GRADE SNOW.

BUT I DON'T HAVE WINTER TIRES ON YET.

Are you in cahoots with the winter tire manufacturers? How much are they paying you? It's a little too convenient that it suddenly snowed TODAY when the weather was LOVELY and peachy and the leaves haven't even finished falling and they were crunchy and fun. It's because they passed that INFERNAL law about mandatory winter tires, isn't it?

Oh. I know why. It's because I wore my fake-fur moccasins to work today. Oh.

I get it.

Sigh.

Let's reconsider the snow situation, okay? Thanks.
Your pal,
Miss Ditz