Google = COOLEST EVER.

Debatedly COOLER THAN YOU.

Also, potentially COOLER THAN THE HAIR ON A POLAR BEAR'S TUSSY.

[I started this post on the 11th and promptly forgot about it. Whoops. You don't want to know how many posts are still unfinished drafts. Okay. Maybe 5.]

I came across this teensy little gem ages ago. It's a charming little Google Lab tool, for your Gmail. Hey. Remember that drunk email you sent me at 4 a.m. telling me how much you hate my blog?

I GOT IT.

Didn't turn on your Google GOGGLES, eh?

So, what does this do? Turn it on, and during high-traffic "alcohol consumption" times, you're prompted to answer 3 magical mathematical questions before your email is allowed to travel the wonders of cyberspace.

Right, cool.

So, what happens during 4 p.m. happy hour? What about my Mid-Morning Monday Martoonis? WHAT ABOUT THOSE EMAILS? And HEY. Those math questions are SUPER EASY. I studied MATH in university. Simple multiplication is JOKES. THROW SOME INTEGRALS IN THERE. HOW ABOUT A LAPLACE TRANSFORMATION?

GET BACK TO THE LAB, GOOGLE, AND DON'T COME BACK UNTIL I SAY SO.