Special Feature: Ditz's Accessorizing Tips

In light of recent concert-viewing events, and in light of a certain utility-man's LACK OF PROPER ACCESSORIZING, I bring you something special.

Roy? This is for you.

Since Roy left his hat-trunk at home before going on tour, I've taken the liberty of compiling some options for Roy. Head over to a HAT BARN and get some CHAPEAUS!

Option #1: Sexy Crocodile Hunter.
In this motif, we see our main man, Roy, topped off in a lovely taupe leather hat, that comes with a handy-dandy pouch for storage purposes. This hat is a real find. It FOLDS UP. It costs $79.95. A little pricey, but nothing says class like a BRAIDED HATBAND!

Option #2: Stylishly Flamboyant Newsboy.

Over here, we have Roy in a super trendy newsboy cap. In hot pink corduroy, Roy would be the cutest little munch to ever have played 4 different instruments for Bob Dylan's band. I think this hat really brings out his eyes. Roy can afford this one on his musician's salary. It's $5.95 and is a ONE SIZE FITS ALL. Does that include Roy and his hair?

Option 3: Themed Evenings.
Just in case Bob decides to hold a concert on the holy Halloween or Purim, heck, if Roy decides he feels like blending in with his Pirate brethren, this $9.95 wonder would be PERFECT. Roy's sex appeal thermometer just rose 30 degrees when he put THIS hat on!

Come on. Who doesn't LOVE a pirate??

So, you see Roy, THERE WAS NO EXCUSE FOR YOUR LACK OF HEADWEAR.

NO EXCUSE.