"Lies The Ditz Told Me" - A Third Person Account

Ditz left work early today. Ditz needed her nails did. It's her Thursday-Almost-End-Of-The-Week treat. Ditz usually meets Hello Kitten for afternoon-pre-class primping. It's important to maintain SOME level of personal grooming. That, and look charming for class.

Hello Kitten opted to work on her physical maintenance. Ditz went alone. Normally, Ditz gets to yammer non-stop with Hello Kitten, thus avoiding awkward conversation with the non-English speaking manicurists. NOT THIS TIME. Ditz had to MAKE CONVERSATION. There goes Ditz's quiet-manicure time!

The lovely ManiKitten inquired what Ditz studies in school. Ditz KNEW she wouldn't understand PUBLIC RELATIONS and had zero interest in explaining, so she picked something close. English. Kind of the same thing, BUT NOT REALLY.

[ManiKitten:] "You wanna be teacher? You looka like teacher!"
[Ditz:] "Err, yes! Thanks!"
[ManiKitten:] "Where you do train? You teach!"
[Ditz, thinking hard:] "At private schools!"

Unfortunate conversations of this stature continued until Ditz went to sit with her nails under the magical dryer and was able to avoid life forms by staring at all the varieties of nail polish on the wall above her head.

While this whole shenanigan ensued, Ditz couldn't help but almost WISH she was studying something CONVENTIONAL, something like MATH. Oh, wait. SHE DID THAT ALREADY.

What Ditz apparently "studies/does": English student who wants to be a private high school English teacher.

What Ditz ACTUALLY "studies/does": PR student with a knack for shoes and things that are sparkly.

Oh, right. SAME THING.

IF YOU LIVE ON MARS.