Ditz's Hero Of The Month - NEW SERIES

[This will be a new series if I remember to do so. And/or if my precious kittens love it.]



Hello Kitten is a gem. While she IS a general hero to most - always looks top notch, never has a bad day, glorious specimen in general - she is NOT this month's hero. She INTRODUCED me to this month's hero.



OR SHOULD I SAY HEROINE.



Allow me to introduce you to Missy Quinn. Missy Quinn is 16. Missy Quinn hails from what the Brits call a Caravan Community. That's GYPSY to us laymen. Missy Quinn is easily the only 16 year old bride who's had THIS MUCH PRESS. See that picture? That's Missy Quinn in her wedding "gown". She's my hero. Why? Because her father paves driveways, and her mother is a Glamour Model, and Missy aspires to be a Glamour Model and hasn't been in formal - NO, actual - school since she was 9. Lucky for us, Missy Quinn can't read any of the beautiful articles everyone's been writing about her. Missy Quinn's wedding to a 17 year old chap she met at a theme park (she was showing him a "good time" on the Tilt-a-Whirl, and he won her a stuffed parrot) cost her hard-workin' folks a mighty £100,000 [according to today's currency converter, is $184,777.76 Canadian]. That's a heck of a lot of driveways to be paved, Missy!



Okay, fine. I'll admit it. I AM TOTALLY JEALOUS OF THIS CONCOCTION THAT SHE CALLS A DRESS. I want a two-piece dress that weighs so much that I can't stand up. I want every single guest at my wedding to have to help yank me out of the Rolls-Royce Phantom limo because my "dress" is too big. I want people marveling at how many Swarovski crystals are embedded in my flesh.



I JUST WANT A GIANT TIARA AND A GIANT SWAROVSKI CRYSTAL BOUQUET.


Say Cheese! GROUP PHOTO! That hot broad on the far left is Missy Quinn's mother, Theresa. She's 33. SHE married her precious husband at 16 years of age. You do the math.



Papa Bear Simon Quinn's quote just sums up the entire affair.

“I’m very proud of her today.”

And you know what, Simon? We are too.