How To Be A Glutton

Featuring Prince, Ditz & Chocolate.

2 weekends ago - I was BITCHDITZ and did not advertise - was the Salon Passion de Chocolat at our fine Palais de Congres. Sometimes, Ditz is a rat and keeps things to herself. Worker Bee JUST gave me hell that I didn't tell her, because HER prince would have chocolate intravenous if it was socially acceptable. He says Worker Bee and I cannot be friends anymore. WHATEVER. NOT A LOSS.

(I am slightly kidding.)

For those of you who aren't sure what a SALON PASSION DE CHOCOLAT is, allow me to explain.

What Ditz Thought It Would Be: GIANT FESTIVAL WITH CHOCOLATE FLOWING FROM FOUNTAINS AND CHOCOLATE COVERED EVERYTHINGS TO EAT AND A RIVER OF CHOCOLATE.
What It ACTUALLY Was: A chocolate/jams/wine trade show, featuring Quebec vendors.

And no, WILLY WONKA WAS NOT THERE. Jerk.

So, with this all in mind, I give you Ditz & Prince's Steps to GLUTTONY:

1. Start off your evening with a good piece of Shnitzel. Forget saving room. You need FRIED CHICKEN ENERGY.
2. Enter Show. Notice samples cost $1. IGNORE SIGNS.
3. Stand by Jam/Chocolate Spread station. Try EVERY SINGLE ONE, especially if there are at least 20 flavors.
4. Drink at least 3 complimentary espressos. You need an energy boost after all that JAM.
5. Divide and Conquer for ultimate snacking experience. Tag teams aren't as successful as single SNEAKERS.
6. Notice wine sample stations. Claim you're a restauranteur. Get extra samples. Advance 5 spaces.
7. Don't waste time on cookies. They are useless stomach-fillers.
8. Ignore #7. Everyone loves a good cookie. Or 3.
9. Decide you're not spending money on samples. Ignore booths that make you pay.
10. Try several wines at least thrice. You need to be sure before you purchase.
11. Eat everything free in sight. Don't be ashamed; they KNOW WHY YOU'RE THERE.
12. Buy anything that seems REMOTELY yummy. You won't regret it later.
13. Go out for a leisurely hearty dinner afterwards. You're still hungry, so STOP JUDGING YOURSELF.

Prince bought 3 bottles of wine [apple cider, currant, blueberry]. We have nearly finished one of them.

I bought 4 spreads [chocolate/red peppers/paprika, honey caramel, merlot or something red jelly, strawberry jam] and a bottle of cream apple cider. The honey caramel is nearly finished. I had it once. Methinks Kiddo likes it on toast for breakfast. SHE WOULD.