Dear Ditz,We get it. You love fancy things. WE GET IT. Remember when you said you wouldn't go overboard at Aritzia in Toronto? YOU LIED. Remember when you said the Manolo Blahniks would be the last pair of shoes you'd buy all summer long? YOU LIED. Remember when you said that you didn't care if you found the Mouse Flats? LIAR. You really need to work on KEEPING YOUR WORD. Wallet is full of Visa receipts. Closet can't deal with the overabundance of clothing and shoes. You need to take a SHOPPING BREAK.
Listen, we understand. Sort of. You found a classic pair of Manolo Blahniks on sale for less than half of the regular price. It was a really good deal. You couldn't NOT buy them. They're the best shoes you've ever bought (since your Louboutins last summer). We get it. 
We also understand that you've been searching high and dry for those godforsaken Mouse Flats for years. We know you love them. THEY'RE MOUSE SHOES. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? ARE YOU A WALKING ZOO?
AND ANOTHER THING. 2 trips to Aritzia in 2 days? COME ON. YOU ARE RIDICULOUS. At least you bought nice respectable things this time, not like LAST TIME. Ahem? Your zipper dress? DON'T THINK WE FORGOT ABOUT THAT.
Ditz, this is your first warning. Stop shopping, or we'll MAKE YOU STOP.
With love, your pals,
Closet #1, Closet #2 and your Wallet.
cc: Community Under The Bed, Ditz's Parental Units, Car Trunk
P.S. We decided to be nice. We're attaching pictures of your two latest shoe purchases. We know your kittens want to see.
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