An Open Letter From Ditz's Chandelier

Dear Ditz,

Listen you. We need to have a major chat. What is your problem with changing lightbulbs? We KNOW it's not an environmental thing. I mean, COME ON. You fall asleep 4/7 nights a week with your SMALL LAMPS on. You don't care about electricity. You're just a lazy parasite. We know.

Let's just recap the past few months with you. You've been sitting in a barely lit room for at least 3 months. 3/13 lightbulbs were working. Last weekend, the number went down to 2. We're trying to prove a point here, Ditz. YOU CAN'T LIVE IN THE DARKNESS FOREVER. We decided to be nice. We decided to re-ignite one of the bulbs so you'd be back to 3. BUT DID YOU LEARN? NO. STILL DIDN'T CHANGE OUR BULBS.

We know you. We know you'd have kept this up until you had one functioning bulb left. Thankfully, your father loves you and worries that you keep walking into your bed. He also worries that you won't be able to find your glasses when you take your contacts out. That's a completely separate story. THANKFULLY, he changed ALL of the bulbs last night.

We also know how much your eyes hurt because you're not used to such bright lights. By the way, how's your headache?

That's why we decided to let 3 bulbs burn out this morning. Now you're back down to 10.

Sucks to be you, Miss Ditz. TOUGH LIFE.

Love,
Your Chandelier