New Life Vocation: A Fairy Tale

If all else fails, I have an excellent career brewing as a receptionist who is UNABLE to use fancy shmancy coffee makers.

Allow me to explain further, in standard story format.

Once upon a time, in a far away magical land, where princesses did NOT live in towers and princes OFTEN were lizards and toads, lived a charming little Ditz. She was a charming little creature, and dreamed of a life where she could don her favorite tiara and skip in daisy fields. Miss Ditz worked especially hard to maintain her lifestyle, and often found herself swimming in piles of shoes.

One blustery, hot summer's day, Little Miss Ditz was replacing the Fiery Ginger Head Honey Bee at the Honey Factory. She managed all her tasks beautifully, with the exception of ONE. For you see, Miss Ditz is a champion multi-tasker and can do anything, except for operate heavy machinery. From fixing computers to jamming printers, Little Ditz was a teensy bit of a mess. A fine Knight and his henchmen requested that Ditzie come forth with coffee for their conference. In all her glory and pride, Ditz could not refuse this challenge.

Ditz summoned her Top Honey Bee and they ventured off to the magical laboratory where all the experiments and chemical reactions took place. Upon glancing at the magical machine where many a coffee cup was made, Ditz knew she was in for a struggle. After not one, not two, but DOZENS of failed attempts, Top Honey Bee called upon Friendly Worker Bee to ensure that these two silly girls were NOT breaking the magical machine. More unsuccessful attempts occurred, with Ditz feeling sillier and sillier after each trial. With her tail between her legs, she had to inform the kind Knights that she was not only bearing bad news, but ALSO not presenting them with coffee. Thankfully, Ditz was blessed with both the charm and knack for making a bad situation upbeat, and the Knights did not send her to the beheading block.

Much to Ditz's dismay, the machine was NOT, in fact, broken. Minutes later, she spied a young soul holding a mug of what APPEARED to be coffee from the magical machine.

The moral of this fine tale, as there always is one, is that Ditz in her infinite wisdom will likely steer clear of coffee makers. Don't ask her to make you a coffee unless it's instant. She just can't handle machines with NO INSTRUCTIONS.