I Want To Be Mrs. Bill Nye, His Science Bride

As previously mentioned, today, I decided to conduct a scientific experiment. No, it wasn't my usual "Let's Mix Everything At The Table And See Who'll Be Stupid Enough To Eat It". This one was a SERIOUS experiment.

In proper format, here are the results of my experiment.

Research Question: What effect does the use of an indoor tanning lotion have on outdoor tanning experiences?

Hypothesis: Skin will burn to a crisp.

Materials: Mirage Quadruple Bronzer indoor tanning lotion (I am ghostly white. I need 4x as many bronzers as you); 1 willing and able pasty Ditzy Specimen (that would be me); Sunshine with a high UV index; Ipod containing rockin' tunes; Corona with lemon (I drink alone. Like a creep.); Large sunglasses for large face tan lines.

Set Up: Lotion is applied to legs and chest. Specimen sits outdoors for 2 hours.

Independent Variable: Lotion is meant for indoors and contains little-to-no SPF.

Constant: Regular sunscreen was applied to rest of body.

Control: Tan lines currently existing on body.

Dependent Variable: Pasty flesh that will either bronze, burn or remain the same.

Trials: One. This is a one-time thing. If it works and does not cause major burnage, lotion will be reused. Constantly.

Results: Legs and chest are deeply bronze. Not a sign of a sunburn on this Ditz!

Conclusion: While Mirage Quadruple Bronzer MAY be for indoor tanning, it provides a charming bronze glow after an afternoon of sitting outdoors. Likely should be mixed with regular sunscreen, lest sunburnage occurs.