Guilty Pleasures

Let's talk. I haven't made a list in like 12 minutes.

Instead of my usual "I like this"/"I don't like that" garbage, today, I bring you a list of my TOP Guilty Pleasures, in no particular order.

• Meatloaf, the singer, not the food. A friendly top pet was kind enough to buy me the BAT OUT OF HELL CD. Seriously, "I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)" IS A 12 MINUTE EXTENDED VERSION. WITH AMAZING NEW LYRICS. AND EXTRA VERSES IN THE FEMALE VOCALIST PART. Admittedly, I haven't gotten past track 1. I don't think I intend on it. I do intend, however, to learn ALL the lyrics for the verses that I am not familiar with. I enjoy a good ROCK OUT session in my car.


• The Miss Universe pageant, and/or beauty pageants in general. Top Kitten and I were SURPRISED with this GEM on TV Sunday night. Jerry Springer and MEL B hosted. We kept score. Throughout every round. We picked our favorites, and saw which of our picks made it through. Miss USA took a spill. She would. South America produces more beauty queens than McDonald's produces heart attacks. Venezuela won, but Colombia should've. Kosovo should have NEVER made it to the top 10. She looked like a TRANNY.


• White Castle burgers. I know we don't have them here, but I was at some BIRTHDAY festivities that included those on the menu. Apparently you can get them frozen in Plattsburgh. ROAD. TRIP. They are delicious morsels of heaven. I love meat and cheese. Obviously I don't love Kashrut.


• Quiet Roar = HEAVEN. 2 NIGHTS IN A ROW. They are the best band ever. Even when they don't play me LOVE GENERATION. Still love them.


• Costco sample time is seriously so underrated. WHERE ELSE ON EARTH can you have bite-size morsels of ASSORTED deliciousnesses?? Limit 1 per customer? I THINK NOT. I hovered around the pasta section until they stopped cooking. I missed the seasoned pork. Do people actually buy the things they taste? Did I? NOPE.
  
• Fun party games, in the form of "Which Would You Rather?" and/or "Fuck/Marry/Kill". Seriously, I would choose a hearty round of FMK over Bananagrams, and that says ALOT. I enjoy making choices that NOBODY wants. One is worse than the other. Like which would you rather: explosive diarrhea for the rest of your life OR drink a gallon of drano? I PICK BOTH.
  
• Cheeseburgers with floats. I am really NOT KOSHER. Nothing says delish like bathing your meat in its mother's milk. NOTHING.
  
• And last, but certainly not the least, Miley Cyrus. I hate her. But really, I love her. THERE. YOU HAVE IT IN WRITING.

Now go eat a snack.