Like I Have ANY Pride

Sometimes, I shouldn't be allowed to leave the house. Truth, I should NOT be posting about the following 2 items, but I feel like I need to share how ridiculous I am. I am a mess. I should not be allowed to do anything without supervision.

Let's start with the least ridiculous -by my standards, that is.

Last night, Sex and the City movie, I cried for the entire movie. So much waterworks, to the point that after the movie, my face was streaked with black mascara. Oh? You think THAT is bad? When I went to the bathroom to tidy up, I noticed black streaks around my cleavage. YES. THAT'S RIGHT. I CRIED SO MUCH THAT MY TEARS/MASCARA LEAKED ALL THE WAY DOWN TO MY BOOBS. Oh? You think THAT is bad?! IT GETS WORSE. The bra I was wearing last night HAS BLACK STAINS IN BETWEEN THE BOOBS. THAT IS HOW FAR THE MASCARA WENT. And no, this wasn't a cheapo Maybelline mascara. This one is a top-notch "waterproof" (it's in quotations because it's fully NOT WATERPROOF) Sephora TRIPLE ACTION mascara. They are getting a nasty letter from me. Eventually.

So, what else makes me ridiculous?

My parental units went to Quebec City for the day/night. My brother is camping (don't ask). It's just me and the Kiddo. So what would make sense? Right, a trip to the SAQ to pick up beverages for myself for the night. I figured I'd be fancy and get not one, BUT TWO bottles of vino. Smart, right? I brought them home, decided to put them both in the garage mini-fridge, and GUESS WHAT? I DROPPED ONE. Glass shattered ALL OVER THE GARAGE. Instead of enjoying two bottles of vino (one now, one later), I had to spend a good 28 minutes HOSING DOWN MY GARAGE and MAKING SURE NO GLASS WAS ANYWHERE. I would have taken pictures, except I DON'T WANT TO REMEMBER THAT THIS HAPPENED. I don't want photographic evidence of my moronic ways. I had to put on BILLY BOOTS to make sure I A. didn't get wet and B. didn't cut my feet up. WHAT A WASTE OF WINE. My garage now smells like white wine. Delish.

I am ONE BITTER DITZ.

Would it be completely off if I go back to the SAQ and pick up a third bottle? This time I'll try not to drop it. Fair is fair.