Discrimination

Titles are misleading. I bet you're all thinking that Ditz is SUDDENLY deep.

SORRY KITTENS. NOT TODAY.

Let's talk about odds, ratios. Let's talk about CANDY. I discriminate - HARD - against candies that aren't RED. They just don't taste the same. OTHER COLORS TASTE LIKE CRAP. Green? Since when do green things taste good? And YELLOW. GROSS. Orange can be mildly tolerable. MILDLY. It's all about red. I used to go to candy stores (Sucre Bleu? I have like 15 stamped cards. I must be due for some free candy) and get GIANT BAGS of only red candy. Cherry Blasters, red Gummy Worms, red Sour Keys, red Gummy Turtles, red Gummy SHARKS. If another color got into my bag, IT WAS RAPIDLY REMOVED. I can easily rack up a $20 bag with JUST RED CANDY. I discriminate against other colors. I AM A CANDY RACIST.

(Obviously not a real racist. My racism is exclusive to candy.)

So, onto serious topics.

I opened up my mini-package of Sour Patch Kids just before, which is what spawned this whole candy-tirade. Inside, I found a spinal cord and teeth. Yes. Inside, was my TWIN. No, not really. I haven't watched My Big Fat Greek Wedding in ages. I miss it. The mini-package had EXACTLY 10 SPKs inside. Ready to talk stats?
Red: 5
Orange: 2
Yellow: 2
Green: 1

HEY. AT LEAST THEY'RE SMARTENING UP AT THE CANDY FACTORY. They know nobody likes green. They KNOW people barely tolerate orange and/or yellow. And they ESPECIALLY know that everyone LOVES RED.

And by everyone, I mean me.