Excess (in) Baggage: A Poem

There once was a girl who was a little Ditz,
Most people thought she was silly,
She had an afinity for all things kitsch,
Even bags that were large and frilly.

She lived all her life in true excess,
So much you would not believe,
From shoes to purses, messes to talking,
Even parties and New Year's Eve.

Now, this little Ditz we speak of,
Unusual as you think she may be,
Will top herself like always,
That is a pure guarantee.

Within her (exceptionally) large purses,
A sub-society does reside,
Multiple mini bags take up space,
Next to an umbrella folded inside.

Not one, not two, but 4 mini bags,
The wallet made the dent in that number,
Notes, addresses, old tickets crumple,
Snacks aplenty, but never a cucumber.

A cell phone and an iPod,
The camera's a given,
Entourage is great for PR,
Even with that Jeremy Piven.

Right next to the notepad with matching pen,
Beside the makeup case and USB port,
A water bottle, giant car key rings and 3 peek a poohs,
Sits kleenex packs and things of that "sort".

Let's not forget all those lipglosses and pins,
Extras Ditz can't bear live without,
She'll likely lose her office pass shortly,
Near the bottom of the bag, no doubt!

The purse tips the scales at best, no doubt,
No wonder Ditz's back is achy,
To really clean out that bag and empty it out,
It needs someone who isn't flaky.

The moral of this poem, as we may wonder,
Ditz runs the gamut of inner purse things,
Everything she does is silly and in excess,
Especially when it comes to antique rings!