Lord, Help Me Please

Those of you who follow my Tweets and/or Facebook status updates and/or know my habits and/or my schedule know that tonight is my last night of happy family vacation. I opted to ENJOY my holiday, as opposed to spending my time INDOORS blogging. Sorry. Tanning was HIGH PRIORITY.

Right now, I'm working really hard/hardly working on cramming a week's worth of Forever XXI/21 & Coach outlet shopping into my ONE TEENSY SUITCASE.

It's not going so well.

Photographic evidence:

Exhibit A: Overstuffed suitcase filled with trendy new goodies. Pile of items that still need to go in.

Exhibit B: Shopping bags of items yet to be packed.



Exhibit C: Assorted items on bed that need to be packed. Of note: Ditz loves animal print, namely, leopard; Ditz finally found herself a PEACOCK feathered accessory; Ditz loves reading/is literate; Ditz loves purses (3 on bed, 2+ on floor); Ditz loves stuffed giraffes.



Exhibit D: Community of shoes anxiously awaiting their spot in the suitcase. Patient and beloved Marc Jacobs mouse flats are excited to go home, while charming Louboutins foster anger towards Ditz for being brought and NOT WORN ONCE. [Betsey Johnson slides are indifferent.]

Truth be told, there is a HIGH chance that these shoes aren't coming home with me tomorrow. From the looks of my already heavy bag, there is NO WAY on this planet that they'll fit into my bag. WHAT WAS I THINKING, PACKING 6 PAIRS OF SHOES FOR A 7 DAY TRIP?! WHO DO I THINK I AM, IMELDA MARCOS? [The correct answer here is yes.]

Let us join forces in a small prayer right now:

Dear Lord Upstairs,

Please help me stuff all of my new goodies into my little suitcase. I overpacked, and I am aware that I did NOT need 12 assorted tops and 8 pairs of shorts for such a brief trip. I am also aware that I wore my new white denim shorts at least 3 times, when I could've worn other things. Please don't punish me now. Just figure out a way to get all of my stuff in one bag that doesn't pop.

In addition, I would also greatly appreciate if my flight wasn't delayed tomorrow and that I have an easy time getting through customs. It would be a great shame if they rip apart my bag and make me show them all the lovely things I purchased this week. Wait. No, I love showcasing my new stuff.

Please just make tonight and tomorrow bearable and easy! I WILL BE FOREVER HAPPY!

With plenty of love,
Your Favorite Ditz.