THANKS KITTENS/Quote Of The Week

Today, I celebrate - along with all of you - my delicious 6 month blogniversary. Today, 6 months ago, I embarked on this lovely journey, AND YOU KNOW WHAT? IT'S ONLY JUST BEGINNING.

Sweet kittens & precious pets, I adore you all and appreciate your support endlessly. Get excited for the major changes that'll be happening soon!

I'm naturally celebrating tonight, with a gigantic martoooni (Top Worker Bee? That's for you!) and delicious company, featuring Hello Kitten, friendly classmate & total specimen.

Hello Kitten, actually, on Tuesday, gave me this week's quote of the week.
"Leggings aren't pants."

So true, Hello Kitten. So true.

LOVE YOU ALL. It's only uphill from here!
XOXO

Quick Points of Order

Re: previous Vlog entry.

It's a little more shaky than last time, so crank up your volume. I speak in a little teensy girl voice.

You'll all notice I added some new GADGETS to my page. Blogs I follow (IT SADDENS ME HOW MUCH BETTER THESE PEOPLE ARE THAN I AM) & the ability to now BECOME A FOLLOWER.

Don't think. Just do it. You know you love me.

Ask & You Shall Receive

Original Video - More videos at TinyPic

Lost & Found

Today, my personal project - yet to be finished - was an entire room overhauling.

I bring you, my list of things I've lost and things I've found - in the process of tidying up my living space.

Things Found:

• A 2-for-1 coupon for Guzzo theatres.
• Headphones for my cell phone. (Do they work? Only time can tell.)
• 7 complete scrapbook pages from my vacation with an ex-boyfriend. GOD, THOSE ARE USEFUL NOW. MAYBE I'LL EVEN FINISH THAT ALBUM. And by maybe, I mean they're going straight to the trash.
• Class notes from when I took Java programming. 3 YEARS AGO.
• Beloved plain black American Apparel headband, oh, how I missed you!
• Shrinky Dink paper & other assorted craft items. Craft party, anyone?
• My diva hat, also known as my WITCH HAT.
• Ancient high school advice column letters & newspapers. I used to be famous, you know!
• More purses and shoes living UNDER my bed than in my closet. That says a lot, you know.
• 4 board games: Beatles Monopoly [I AM that cool. Stop being jealous.], Here & Now Monopoly, Rummy Q/Cube (?) and Backgammon.

Things Lost:

• My soul.
• 74 back issues of Cosmopolitan, ranging from March 2000 - May 2006. Yes. That's a lot of Cosmo. Good thing I stopped THAT habit and replaced it with 7 other better publications.
• 5 Cosmopolitan Style & Beauty specials, 18 People Style Watches, 6 Lou Lous, 7 Elles, 2 In Styles, 1 Real Simple & 1 Time magazine. I like magazines. A LOT.
• 1 Archie's Double Digest (# 71) - will that kooky redhead ever settle on Betty OR Veronica? COME ON ARCHIE. IT'S TIME TO GROW UP AND MAKE A DECISION.
• 4 assorted flavors of bubble tape packages.
• Disney Monopoly. It's been MIA for ages. Methinks a certain Kiddo hid it...

There's naturally more, but I've opted to abandon ship and move on.

I leave you, sweet pets, with this:

That's my stack of magazines headed for the RECYCLE-CYCLE BIN. I seriously dread walking up and down the stairs 389 times. I probably should have let Momma Ditz and Kiddo help me with this. Oh well. Ditz never learns.

Today's Ditz Life Lesson: Never say NO to HELPFUL HANDS.

Also, in light of all my PodCamp insights, I STRONGLY encourage you, readerpets, to start commenting. I need your feedback. Tell me what you like. Tell me what you don't like. I want to hear what YOU have to say!

XOXO

Live: From PodCamp Montreal 2008

I'm sitting in a session on Niche Podcasting, by a woman who blogs/podcasts about KNITTING. Typical. I'm having a really marvelous time. Learning a WHOLE PILE of methods, tactics that I hope to start applying to my blog. LOTSA CHANGES COMIN' UP SWEET PETS!


Anyways, more on all this later. Obviously. We'll discuss this experience! I need to pay attention.

Really, I just wanted an excuse to post this:



Sigh. From left to right, Yours Truly, Mr. David Usher, Friendly Disaster Pal.

More soon! XOXO

MODERATE Time Waster

I just got home from visiting the StyleXchange sale. Top Kitten's prediction was TOTALLY OFF. She said I'd spend AT LEAST $200. WRONG-O, PET.

Let's go over the stats from this sale.

• Totally NOT really worth your time.
• Endless racks of messy OLD things, i.e. creepy sweaters & tops that NOBODY WOULD EVER WEAR.
• Awkward PUBLIC changing "area". I was NOT emotionally (or underwearly) prepared for this. Thank god for long tops/dresses. (Today would've been a PRIME bodysuit day.)
• I was unable to REALLY scan the racks of jeans because an Asian lady who HAPPENS to be my size KEPT HOVERING OVER ME and HIDING THINGS FROM ME.
• For every decent pair of jeans (i.e. 7 For All Mankind, J Brand, Citizens of Humanity, Taverniti) there were about 7 pairs of lower end labels (Second, OK! jeans). Average amount of Miss Sixtys and Diesel.
• ALMOST bought a pair of Juicy black velours, EXCEPT upon closer inspection, THEY HAD ELASTIC HEMS ON THE LEGS. I.E. GENIE/MC HAMMER PANTS. I don't care if they're all over Fashion Week. I'm not emotionally ready for that.
• Waiting in line to pay? PAIN IN THE ASS. Two French girls were in front of me, MAKING THE CASHIER CHECK PRICES OF EVERY SINGLE ITEM THEY WERE CONSIDERING. Out of her pile of 40+ items, the idiot only paid for MAYBE 6. I was waiting a VERY LONG TIME.
• Prices: average. Some things were SUPER CHEAP, others, still expensive. They had a bunch of pairs of 7 for all Mankind/Great China Wall studded jeans. Those are easily 3 years old. They'd originally retailed for over $500 per pair, but were at this sale for $150+. THAT'S NOT THAT GREAT OF A DEAL FOR JEANS THAT ARE AT LEAST 3 YEARS OLD. [Note: Great China Wall is not only a wonder of the world, but also an L.A. based clothing line. FYI.]
• What did I actually buy? 2 pairs of jeans. 1 pair of Citizens (original price: $210, sale price: $55) and 1 pair of Frankie Bs (original price: $160, sale price: $44). Both low-rise and fairly wide-legs. Why only wide-legs? Because I am a Charlie's Angel. Deal with it.

Bottom line: the sale is still on tomorrow. If you happen to be around Old Montreal and you have the patience of a nun, then go take a gander. Otherwise, DON'T BOTHER.

OH NO.

I should be getting ready to leave my house for work. BUT I'M NOT. I'M LOOKING AT SHOES ON ZAPPOS. I really REALLY want a pair of tall fringey moccasin boots. Almost as much as I want a pet Falcon and/or Chupacabra and/or Unicorn. Hey, a Ditz can dream, no?

I need these boots. Look at these boots. Now calm your hormones. I KNOW I already have 4 pairs of fake Costco Uggs, and 1 pair of real ones, BUT THESE ARE DIFFERENT. LOOK! LEOPARD SKIN!!!!

That's it for now. I just wanted to bring these fabulous pieces of deliciousness to everyone's attention.

Now go love life.

LIVE FROM CLASS

I just thought everyone should know that the agenda I so thoughtfully bought myself is FRENCH.

Not returning it. I have a case of the lazies and I already tore out half the triangles.

Looks like there's no better day than today to start embracing FRANCAIS.

AND IN OTHER NEWS

Just so you all DON'T think I hoard information...

(I sort of do. You all know I keep the BEST stuff secret.)

Yesterday, today, tomorrow AND Saturday was/is/are [I'm just covering my bases, and putting all possible conjugatory options] a MAJOR StyleXchange sale.

Here are the details, as far as the email I received tell me:

Wednesday, Sept. 17: 10 a.m. - 9 p.m. [so it's in the past, I DON'T CARE]
Thursday, Sept. 18: 10 a.m. - 9 p.m.
Friday, Sept. 19: 10 a.m. - 9 p.m.
Saturday, Sept. 20: 10 a.m. - 5 p.m.

All of this goes down at Marche Bonsecours, in Old Montreal.

I don't know if it's last year's merch, samples, or defects being sold. It'll likely be a combination of everything. Last StyleXchange sale I went to was EXCEPTIONALLY disappointing. I will likely make a casual appearance tomorrow after work. Old Montreal is just a hop, skip and a jump away from my office, so I have NO EXCUSE as to why I cannot go.

I'll report on it tomorrow evening. You can COUNT ON THAT.

Waiting Room Disaster = Ditz

Truth: Ditz can't be taken anywhere without ample supervision.
Truth: I had to write myself notes on the following lest I forget ANYTHING OF NOTE.

Headline: Ditz Sits in a Doctor's Waiting Room.
Subtitle: Two Hours Later, Hilarity Ensues.

Ditz needed to visit a doctor, for a usual checking visit, nothing major to report. Ditz was silly, and did not get to the office early, because she was lazy and preferred taking the extra 15 minutes to snooze, rather than be smart and leave at a reasonable hour. [Sidenote: Ditz did not receive her $5 incentive because she was tardy.] Upon her arrival, Ditz was greeted by a waiting room FULL of assorted patients, including various children (not her cup of tea in the morning, thank you very much) and a few kindly elderly folk. Oh, and some young ladies who felt it necessary to openly discuss their personal life trials and tribulations ("Oh, it's just so hard being single and successful, men just find me too intimidating!" "I am just ready to be engaged and married already! I can't wait to have CHILDREN!"), but they aren't the point of the story. They get no further press.

MOVING RIGHT ALONG...

Ditz plopped herself on the edge of a couch, positioning herself near the door. She was ambitious. She brought in one of her school textbooks to get ahead on her reading. AMBITIOUS. Promptly upon opening her text, a CHARMING SPRAT of a child decided it was necessary to use the rocking horse next to Ditz's seat. Ditz clearly did NOT survey the seating options properly. Furthermore, the child ALSO felt it was necessary to periodically KICK DITZ in the arm. CHILD'S MOTHER IS LUCKY DITZ IS DOCILE IN THE MORNING BEFORE HER SYSTEM IS TARNISHED WITH COFFEE AND/OR CAFFEINE.

Ditz was then BLESSED with a lovely elderly lady who decided to NOT allow Ditz her several inches of personal space on the COMPLETELY EMPTY COUCH. Elderly Lady practically sat on Ditz's lap. Now, for those of you who missed the memo, Ditz has the potential to be THE biggest PEST this side of the Atlantic. Elderly Lady had proceeded to read her newspaper. Ditz, knowing that NOBODY on this planet enjoys strangers reading over their shoulders, decided she was PARTICULARLY CURIOUS about what this Lady was reading, ON EVERY SINGLE PAGE.

Ditz is a total pain in the rump roast. She knows.

Elderly Lady kept UNcasually turning the paper away from nosy Ditz, BUT KEPT INCHING CLOSER ON THE COUCH. Ditz decided that instant that it was necessary to begin texting not one, not two, but THREE precious pets at the SAME TIME, thus causing her mobile telephone device to vibrate at 15 second intervals. Upon feeling vibrations on her leg, Elderly Lady MOVED AWAY.

BREAK FOR MORAL COMPASS TIME.
Storytime Moral #1: Give Ditz personal space.
Storytime Moral #2: Use vibrating cell phones to GAIN personal space.
Storytime Moral #3: Ditz is a GIANT pest.

Ditz casually turned her attention to the pile of young noisy sprats playing on the floor, WHO ALL KEPT PUTTING THEIR MOUTHS ON EVERY SINGLE TOY THEY TOUCHED. [Note to self: disinfect mouth after playing with toys that the children have touched.] Do these children NOT REALIZE that saliva transfers GERMS faster than dirty syringes??

Storytime Moral #4: Avoid playing with fun toys in doctors' offices.

Moving along, Ditz got blessed, during this TUMULTUOUS waiting room excursion, with a precious Kitten Fan. Kitten Fan and Ditz discussed life, shoes, precious moments, until Kitten Fan decided it was enough waiting for her, and she was to move on with her day. Ditz escorted KF outside, with the purpose of passing onto KF one of her precious business cards, HOT OFF THE PRESS. Ditz re-entered the waiting room, having left her jacket in her car due to the impending heat wave.

And you know what? Elderly Lady - who Ditz did NOT sit next to upon her return - announced to the waiting room that the "Young lady who had been sitting next to her" had LEFT AND WAS NOT RETURNING.

Storytime Moral #5: In order to confuse people, REMOVE YOUR JACKET. Nobody will EVER recognize you.

Bottom line: In going outdoors for all of 3.6 MINUTES, I almost lost my turn. Thank god other people recognized me and knew I was next. I am also as healthy as a horse. In a positive, upbeat way, of course.

Confession

I can't deal with The Hills. Not even a little teensy bit. I can't deal with Lauren Conrad's "designer" status. I don't like that Perez is CONSTANTLY littered with Hills garbage. LC's "line" of clothing is overpriced plain crap. Heidi Montag is Barbie, reincarnated. Lauren Conrad just got a book deal to write "fictitious" stories about a girl who moves to L.A. to star in a "reality" show. FICTITIOUS, EH? SURVEY SAYS: LIES.

I could go on forever. I really just can't stand this pathetic excuse for reality TV. Why can't we have The Bachelor/Bachelorette all year long?!

Confession: while I loathe The Hills and everything about the god-forsaken show, I seriously SERIOUSLY love one of Heidi Montag's singles. Overdosin'.

Don't judge me. You all know that I secretly [not so secretly] love trashy pop music. I don't know all the words yet, but you MARK MY WORDS. It'll be featured on my next "Songs You'll Hate But I Love" car mix.

I'm the reason these songs get to #1 on iTunes.

Queen of Double Standards

Right, that would be me.

I felt like getting out of my house for a total of 24 minutes this afternoon. In my VARIED unsuccessful trials at being organized, I decided I NEED an agenda. The agenda-use stage usually lasts approximately 2 months. Never more.

ANYWAYS.

Bureau en Gros near my house was my ultimate destination. Here's today's beef with life.

In the mall parking lot, there's about 6-8 spots reserved for Bureau en Gros quick-customers, A.K.A. ME. Know what really grinds my gears? WHEN I CAN'T PARK THERE BECAUSE NON-BUREAU EN GROS CUSTOMERS ARE USING THEM. I had to park FAR AWAY and walk FAR.

Why is this me being a Double Standard Queen? Because I am INSANELY guilty of using those convenient spots for non-Bureau en Gros excursions. Like ALWAYS.

BUT THEY SHOULD STILL HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR ME. That store, seriously.

I'm taking predictions on how long my organized state will last me. 2 weeks? 3? 4 days? 12 minutes? You decide.

IN OTHER NEWS: New Facebook is here to stay. How long before disgruntled members deactivate? Truthfully, I don't LOVE IT, but I'm okay with change. I love the live feed. Makes stalking THAT MUCH EASIER.

Punishments OR Signs From The Lord Upstairs

Scene: Ditz's place of employment
Time: Approximately 1:30 p.m.

Ditz is casually sitting at the reception desk. Kind, friendly Major Bee brings in BAGS of DANISH. Major Bee offers Ditz DANISH. DITZ ACCEPTS, because she can NEVER resist ANYTHING baked and/or sweet and/or danish-like. Ditz takes 3-4 bites of giant danish. Ditz KNOCKS danish onto the floor, STICKY SIDE UP.

Ditz - despite usual 5 second rule - places danish into the trash receptacle.

NO MORE DANISH FOR DITZ.

Sign from the Lord upstairs: Ditz needs to chill on the danish eating. Ditz has jeans she needs to fit into.

EXCITEMENT NEWS PART 2

No, your eyes didn't deceive you. It really says part 2. Part 1 will follow part 2. I just felt like giving more recent news than backtracking. You know how I roll!

In 2 weeks' time, I - along with other fun kittens - will be participating in PodCamp Montreal, the Unconference for bloggers and podcasters and others involved/interested in new media. I know. Such a nerd.

My excitement news has two parts:

1. It's going to be a major networking weekend for me. I HAD BUSINESS CARDS MADE UP. FOR MY BLOG. Ask me for one. They JUST arrived Tuesday and I keep dozens in my giant purse. THEY ARE THE CUTEST CARDS EVER. Seriously.


2. In registering for this, I gave them my blog name/domain for them to promote it on their site. They have a list on the participants page of "random" blogs/participants' websites. I WAS CHECKING NEARLY DAILY TO SEE IF MINE WAS ON THE RANDOM LIST. I CONSTANTLY REFRESH and NOTHING. Until last night. While in class. Obviously.

SEE?? THAT IS ME.

I cried a little bit when I saw my AnecDitz line. One solitary tear.

Precious kittens, I know you've all been patient with me and my lack of bloggage. I just started classes again last week. I LOVE SCHOOL. You should all know that I am in the process of consolidating my life and removing all excess. Once I get myself under control, I will be devoting 97% of my focus to my blog. This month marks my 6 month anniversary. KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS? A CELEBRATION. WITH CAKE. I love cake!

But more importantly, I love life.

Marky, What IS THIS?

Mark Zuckerberg, WHAT IS THIS?!

I am speechless. First time in my entire life.

Precious kittens, looks like we all have to get used to this NEW FANDANGLED Facebook bandwagon. Sigh.