New Series: Theme Outfits

OR Signs I Need a "Real" Hobby.


I'd like to say that this whole concept of "Themed Outfits" was a mistake. It KIND OF was. It started two weeks ago, when I wore my feathered earrings, cute collegiate cardigan and "suede" moccasin boots all on the same day. I called it "Pocahontas Goes To College".


The next day, I wore a dress with pockets and black tights that bunched around my ankles (not because I'm trendy, but because I hadn't pulled up my tights properly and they were too long). While I was eating my breakfast of Frosted Flakes with milk and apple juice, I realized that day's theme was "Ditz is 25 Going On 6".


A couple of days later, I decided it was time to debut my new and beloved Peacock feathered headband. I wore it with a peacock blue top and matching cardigan. Yes. You guessed right. That day was "Ditz The Magical Live Peacock".


Last week, I did a bit of "Susie Homemaker" in a full skirt and giant fake pearls.


Today, in honor of the US Presidential Inauguration - no, actually, there's no real connection - I bring you a new themed outfit: Sorority Girl.

In my Sorority, we support Hazing. Fully.

Top Worker Bee loves office photoshoots almost as much as she loves Ping Asian Cuisine.

BEST. NEWS. EVER.

CHRIST I CAN'T FIND THE ARTICLE ONLINE YET - BUT MARK MY WORDS, WHEN I DO, IT'S BEING LINKED AS PROOF.


Forever 21 is FINALLY and ACTUALLY coming to Montreal and is taking over and/or opening inside the Ailes Complex downtown.

3 CHEERS FOR TRENDY CHEAP CUTE CLOTHES!


UPDATE: Found it. Read this for proof.
Fantastic.

I Kick Ass.

I'm a better shopper than you.

Here's why:

In a magical November post, I'd mentioned briefly how I'd bought a Juicy silk printed skirt. I didn't go into MAJOR detail about it, but what you don't know is that I'd spent COUNTLESS hours trying to find a picture of it online. UNSUCCESSFULLY.


And I couldn't understand why. I figured it was SUPER OLD, like 12 seasons ago, and I dropped the search and moved onto just wearing it.

Turns out, it's not a super old skirt. It's not last season, it's not last year. It's ACTUALLY SPRING 2009.

What does this mean? I HAD A NEW SKIRT BEFORE ANYONE ELSE.

What it REALLY means is that if you ever see one-of-a-kind Juicy Couture items at that Juicy outlet, SNAP THEM UP FAST, because they're samples of FUTURE SEASONS!!

The real punch line, is that I paid $70 for it. It retails now for $228 USD.

I love life.

Update: I saw it selling for $250 Canadian. I am the best.

Special Feature: Ditz's Accessorizing Tips

In light of recent concert-viewing events, and in light of a certain utility-man's LACK OF PROPER ACCESSORIZING, I bring you something special.

Roy? This is for you.

Since Roy left his hat-trunk at home before going on tour, I've taken the liberty of compiling some options for Roy. Head over to a HAT BARN and get some CHAPEAUS!

Option #1: Sexy Crocodile Hunter.
In this motif, we see our main man, Roy, topped off in a lovely taupe leather hat, that comes with a handy-dandy pouch for storage purposes. This hat is a real find. It FOLDS UP. It costs $79.95. A little pricey, but nothing says class like a BRAIDED HATBAND!

Option #2: Stylishly Flamboyant Newsboy.

Over here, we have Roy in a super trendy newsboy cap. In hot pink corduroy, Roy would be the cutest little munch to ever have played 4 different instruments for Bob Dylan's band. I think this hat really brings out his eyes. Roy can afford this one on his musician's salary. It's $5.95 and is a ONE SIZE FITS ALL. Does that include Roy and his hair?

Option 3: Themed Evenings.
Just in case Bob decides to hold a concert on the holy Halloween or Purim, heck, if Roy decides he feels like blending in with his Pirate brethren, this $9.95 wonder would be PERFECT. Roy's sex appeal thermometer just rose 30 degrees when he put THIS hat on!

Come on. Who doesn't LOVE a pirate??

So, you see Roy, THERE WAS NO EXCUSE FOR YOUR LACK OF HEADWEAR.

NO EXCUSE.

Ditz = Topical

In light of recent US news, Ditz can't NOT be topical. Instead of telling you how happy I am that Obama won, and how bittersweet I feel about McCain's loss, we're going to discuss something a teeeeensy bit more important.

WHO WORE WHAT and WHO LOOKED BEST.

What were you expecting? Do you KNOW who I am?!

Section 1: Attack of the Yellow Suits

Did Jill Biden miss the memo that yellow is the REPUBLICAN color du jour? Someone shoot her stylist. She would've blended in better with the Republicans. Roberta McCain is one bitter battle-axe. Why? Not because her precious son lost the election, BUT BECAUSE HIS WIFE, THAT UNGRATEFUL SOUR PATCH KID, IS ALSO WEARING YELLOW. And a BETTER yellow outfit at that. Roberta would rather be watching Matlock with a jar of prunes than be standing next to Cindy in competing YELLOW.

1 point for Cindy McCain for rocking a delicious Oscar de la Renta suit, SIMILAR BUT NOT EXACTLY THE SAME as that OTHER yellow Oscar frock she wore.

Section 2: It's Not Prom So Why Are You In Sequins

Meghan, Meghan, Meghan. I love your blog. I love your CUTE stylish outfits. ALWAYS. BUT WHAT IS THIS ATTROCITY?? It's not PROM. IT'S THE DAY YOUR FATHER ALMOST MADE IT INTO OFFICE. Sweetheart, don't wear dresses that match your hair. Not cute. No.

Section 3: Mrs. President Loves Red

Everyone is giving Miche Obama crap about her frock. HELLO? THE WOMAN NORMALLY WEARS H&M DRESSES. This is a Narciso Rodriguez. This is a big step for the First Lady who is a generally SMART SHOPPER. She even matched the kinderlach to her frock. AND Barack-You-Like-A-Hurricane's tie. I think she looked supercute. Okay, so the dress is not THE most flattering, but come on. Let's give the woman some props for going designer!

Section 4: I Can See Russia From My Home

Alaska's favorite beauty queen shimmers in a lovely navy blue suit, coordinated to match - not clash - with Cindy McCain. Palin's Republican "stylists" opted to downplay her obvious assets and make sure her outfit didn't outshine Cindy's. We know Sarah is sexy, but SHE WOULDN'T BE SEXIER THAN THE FIRST LADY because NOBODY is allowed to TOP the first lady!

So, let's rank the choice ladies of Election Night 2008. From top to bottom, WHO LOOKED BEST:

1. Sarah Palin - OBVIOUSLY. She can do NO WRONG. NEVER.
2. Jill Biden - uncoordinated with her party, but ADORABLE AS ALL HECK.
3. Cindy McCain - Oscar de la Renta would shoot her if she wasn't in the top 3.
4. Michelle Obama - props for her designer choice, let's see what she pulls out of her hat for INAUGURATION DAY.
5. Meghan McCain - not prom, but doable. Go return the 17 dresses you bought for inauguration day. It's just not happening.
6. Roberta McCain - stop trying to steal Cindy's spotlight, IT WAS HER DAY.

See? Sometimes I care what's going on in the world. SOMETIMES.