Uber-Chic or Super-Freak?

I just had a lovely Winners outing with Momma-Ditz & the Kiddo herself. [No, I didn't buy anything.]

On the way out, Kiddo pointed out a lovely older lady WEARING THE EXACT SAME GLASSES AS ME.

I just JUST got a new pair of frames. I terrorized Momma-Ditz at the glasses store, easily picking THE most expensive frames possible. I thought I was super chic and extra classy.

JUST ABOUT AS CLASSY AS A 75+ YEAR OLD LADY. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

We always knew I was older beyond my years. I just never thought it was FIFTY (50) YEARS OLDER.

Whatever. I happen to love my leopard print bejeweled lunettes. LEOPARD IS TIMELESS.

BIRTHDITZ, Quarter Century & LOVIN' IT

Today, we honor Momma Ditz, who so carefully let me exit her womb some 25 years ago. I took this opportunity to send her a beautiful orchid in honor of OUR special day. She was very moved.

Oh right. Today's my BIRTHDAY. 25 years young. I have had a truly MAGICAL day so far. Top Kitten had a pile of BALLOONS sent to my office, Momma Ditz baked a pile of goodies for me to bring TO the office [I am 25 going on 8], Prince delivered BEAUTIFUL flowers, Worker Bee and I went out for a LOVELY klassy lunch [pogos and fries with gravy]. Toronto Kitten SANG ME A SONG. What a MARVELOUS DAY.

All the worker bees at my office gave me TONS of love and hugs and kisses. It's been - THUS FAR - my absolute TOP birthday.

Top Worker Bee told me that she hasn't seen anyone get as much birthday lovin' as this little Ditz. WELL OBVIOUSLY. EVERYONE LOVES THE DITZ!!

My day is FAR from over. Prince and I are going out for dinner shortly. I hope for something yummy and deep fried. Tomorrow, I'll do a birthday-gift round-up.

In the meantime, I'll let you laugh at the photos: Ditz at her desk with her BALLOONS and Ditz posing like a NEB with her balloons and flowers. Momma Ditz forced Kiddo to stage this PHOTO-OP.

I am such a birthday pest.

And This Is Why We Call Me Ditz

Preface:
Momma Ditz decided it was necessary that I start popping VITAMINS like a good girl. I have a FANCY pink pill case. Yes, like your grandparents. I take FISH OIL tablets that look like HORSE TRANQUILIZERS and vitamin D pills. At least that's what I THINK I take. Momma Ditz gave me this beautiful pill case BECAUSE I NEVER REMEMBER TO TAKE MY VITAMINS.

[Please hold while I pop pills.]

Okay.

Momma Ditz - Ditz Verbal Exchange of the Day:

[Ditz:] Question. If I forgot to take my vitamins yesterday, do I take double dosage today?
[Momma Ditz:] Are you retarded? You shouldn't be allowed to leave the house.
[Ditz:] ...... No, seriously.
[Momma Ditz:] No, seriously, you shouldn't be allowed to ever leave the house.

Whatever. I totally had LOGIC behind my idiocy. SLIGHT LOGIC.

Sometimes, I wonder what's going on in Momma Ditz's head when I ask her BRILLIANT and THOUGHT-PROVOKING questions like I did today.

Welcome to Planet Ditz. Population: me.

Riddle Me This, BATMAN

I wish this was a Batman-related post.

IT'S NOT.

Currently sitting across a table from Hello Kitten, working like little bees on a communications plan DUE TOMORROW. Why are we puttering about now? Because we're last-minute kittens.
Why is this relevant?

An unnamed group member of ours opted to write her sections in her mother tongue, FRENCH. That's cool and all, sure, but don't send the designated editors HALF-FRENCH/HALF-ENGLISH PARTS.

That's not the punch line. Wait for it.


Some of the sentences in her original text were beyond incomprehensible. I'd put examples, but that's just PLAIN MEAN. Hello Kitten and I proceeded to read them out loud several times, and couldn't get ourselves off the floor. I wanted to share this with the world, and by the world, I mean Disaster Pet.

You know something? He's really smart. The instant I sent it to him he pegged it.
BABELFISH TRANSLATIONS. AT A UNIVERSITY LEVEL. Seriously. And JUST to prove he was right, I put the "english" sentence into the fishy translator and BOOM. Coherent French sentence.

WHEN WILL YOU PEOPLE LEARN? Babelfish doesn't translate FULL SENTENCES. It does it WORD - BY - WORD.

I called my mother to tell her about this. She loves my "Group-Work-Blows" stories. LOVES.

"IS THAT GIRL DEMENTED?"
"Yes, Mom. I think she may be."
"ARE YOU CRYING???"
"NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT MOMMY."

I MAY have to make an ultimate list of lessons learned from McGill Public Relations Group Projects.

YET ANOTHER EMPTY PROMISE, DITZ.