Birthday Event Extravaganza Round-Up: Part 1

In case you forgot, my BIRTHDAY was last week. Right. That National Holiday that falls on December 2nd.

As promised, I AM going to do a birthday-present round-up also, but I can't yet because I have MAJOR plans on that front, i.e. pictures galore with tons of LOLZES.

For now, though, I'll be a peach and post some lovely pictographs from my two birthday soirees: Birthday Night Dinner with Prince & Birthday Party Outing.

I won't talk about Prince's present yet. That merits its own story/post.

Prince and I went out for a lovely dinner to what most people consider a GREAT sushi joint. We didn't have reservations, but the restaurant was HALF EMPTY and the LOSERS working there made us WAIT 20 minutes before they seated us. That should've been a hint. The food was fantastic. We had this DELISH salmon & tuna tartare that they serve on these tortilla-style chip things, and some super sushi [that I tried to bring as leftovers to work the next day, but because I'd forgotten to refrigerate them, Worker Bee forced me to throw them out]. The service was so crappy, though. SO CRAPPY to the point that Prince resorted to some MAJOR retaliation, in the form of "accidentally" spilling soy sauce all over the pristine white tablecloths. THAT'LL SHOW THEM!

What's worse, is that when they brought out my birthday "dessert", I handed the serving wench my camera to take a lovely picture of Prince and I, SHE WALKED AWAY, IGNORING ME. She didn't take my camera with her. Instead, we had to settle for the drunk American at the bar to "try" to take pictures of us. And by that, I really mean we let him take two, and then Prince and I used our long arms to self-photograph.

Evidence:

Thanks to the Drunk Guy for that one.
Nice try, Prince.

My arm is seemingly longer. I love Prince's sweater. We are just the cutest. He and I have an entire self-photoshoot from dinner. I like this one best. I'm willing to bet he won't!

Next up: Birthday Party Pictures!

Domestic Ditz

Top Kitten captured this epic moment. Ditz washing dishes.

A once in a lifetime experience.

(Notice matching leopard headband and leopard glasses. EXTRA LEOPARD = EXTRA CHIC.)

POST-BIRTHDITZ - One Hectic Week Later

I spent an HOUR thanking EVERY SINGLE PERSON who wished me a happy birthday on Facebook.

90% of people got a standardized copy-paste message.

It's rather curious WHO messages you on your birthday and the sort of messages you get.

"Hey, happy birthday, long time no speak, what are you up to?"

WHAT do I answer to that? I can't sum up the last 10+ YEARS OF MY LIFE IN ONE FACEBOOK WALL POST. There's a reason why we haven't spoken in a long time. IT'S BECAUSE I PROBABLY DON'T REALLY LIKE YOU.

It bothers me that people who I have as "friends" on FB that are actually total ASSHOLES to me in real life bother to wish me a happy birthday. Call me ungrateful, but I'd rather have NO BIRTHDAY WISHES than receive half-assed "polite" garbage messages from people who look at the listing of birthdays on the homepage and feel it's their CIVIC DUTY to be "nice".
IT'S NOT NICE.

IT'S ANNOYING AND OBNOXIOUS.

Most of the people who wished me a happy birthday WOULDN'T KNOW IT'S MY BIRTHDAY IF IT WEREN'T FOR FACEBOOK.

I have a prime example. I think this happened a solid 2 years/birthdays ago. On a rampage, I deleted a bunch of friends off Facebook. People I didn't like, people associated with people I didn't like, people who looked at me the wrong way ONCE... Anyway, after this axing frenzy, my birthday rolled around and I got an inboxer - as I like to call them - from a guy I went to high school with, that I was pretty friendly with IN high school AND after graduation. He was a casualty of my deleting spree. Inside this message, he wished me a happy birthday, and mentioned that HE KNEW IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY WITHOUT FACEBOOK TELLING HIM SO [oh, and by the way, he also noticed that I'D DELETED HIM].

See? HE is a good egg.

I appreciated all the phone calls. I appreciated even the text messages and emails. I don't appreciate people who think that posting a standard HAPPY BIRTHDAY makes up for a phone call.

It doesn't.

You know what's a great punishment for all these fake Facebook wishes? FAKE STANDARDIZED THANK-YOU REPLIES.

DITZ. ALWAYS. WINS.

[Note: I actually DID love all the Facebook loving. Except for one nameless person. She knows who she is.]

Ditz Exercises Her Civic Duty

...AND VOTED in her provincial election.

See? Photographic evidence that Ditz knows how to vote.

Special thanks to the Disaster himself for capturing this epic moment with his FANCY NEW BLACKBERRY.

I am predicting a TON of flack for this, but I'm going to talk about it anyways.

When it comes to elections of any sort, be it Provincial, Federal or Union, I like to NEVER vote for who I am "supposed" to vote for. I am fairly notorious for trying to cause a stir with my vote, i.e. voting for the party whose beliefs are the EXACT OPPOSITE of what I actually support or voting for the MOST radical party I can vote for. I know every vote counts, and I know it's my civic duty, but HECK, why can't I just have fun?? Last time we had a provincial election [2 years ago? whatever], I made a personal statement and voted for what is considered THE worst party to vote for as an English-speaking Montrealer. I thought it was funny. My riding ANYWAYS always leans in one specific direction, so I like to give other parties an extra vote. I like to know I somewhat count.

I've told Prince my "election theories" and I'm fairly certain he thinks I'm a NIDIOT. He told me that this election isn't exactly the time for my own FUN AND GAMES. I didn't listen to him, and I went to vote - with the Disaster - and I got REALLY confused at the polling station.

There were 5 choices. 4 of the regular ones, and 1 that SORT OF sounded like one of the 4 regulars. I figured it sounded RADICAL and CRAZY enough, that it had to be MORE crazy than any of the OTHER parties on the list. I voted for them.

I asked Disaster if he knew anything about this party, and he didn't. Upon further research [thanks Google], I found out that out of ALL THE PARTIES IN THE WORLD to vote for, I PICKED THE WORST ONE. Like ACTUALLY the worst. This party is a party that I would probably SHUN people for supporting.

Prince and I unknowingly both made the same technical mistake and voted for the same party. He got just as confused as I did. I tried to play the "I AM EXERCISING MY RIGHT TO PRIVACY" shtick with him. Totally backfired when I realized I was super curious to find out who he voted for. He threw that line RIGHT BACK AT ME.

Aaand then we realized we both voted by mistake for the same party. Don't ask us who we voted for; we will be exercising our right to privacy.

Things I COULD Be Doing

Oh, the weather outside is FRIGHTFUL, but my cozy bed is so DELIGHTFUL.

I have a new VLOG to post. I know that MOST of you are going to be SUPER EXCITED. I'll put it up. Not now.

We just got a solid "5 centimeters" of snow. 5 centimeters means NOTHING to me. The weather jerks should have just said we're expecting "enough snow that it'll take you 20+ minutes to clean off your car and you'll be stuck in traffic for at LEAST an hour on your drive home".

In honor of this LOVELY weather, and the fact that it IS beginning to look a lot like CHRISTMAS, I bring you a fresh list.

Things Ditz Could Be Doing Tonight & The Likelihood of Each Happening:

1. Catching up on the 5+ blog entries she's dying to post [Likelihood: 15% chance of happening (CoH)]
2. Organizing her closets (again) and weeding out crappy clothing [2% CoH]
3. Studying for her exam on Friday [0.05% CoH]
4. Reading one of the 12 books on her personal reading list [1% CoH]
5. Watching episodes of Dallas [9% CoH]
6. Watching episodes of The Office [75% CoH]
7. Taking a lovely 45 minute bath and depleting her household of hot water [40% CoH]
8. Pacing around her room and having periodic snacks at 20 minute intervals [85% CoH]
9. Lurking around the kitchen, reading magazines and having snacks [67% CoH]
10. Stay snuggled up in bed, with elephants & giraffes and do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING [101% CoH]

I think #10 is winning. I'd bet on it!

Ditz's HOTW: Barack Obama

This week's hero PROBABLY should just be me, given that it was my birthday, BUT IT'S NOT. Ditz's HOTW is none other than the U.S. President Elect, Mr. Barack Obama. Why? Not because he's the first Black president. Not because he's told the "help" at the White House to leave his girls be with their chores. Not because his wife is a fashion icon. He's this week's hero because he tried to impersonate himself and failed. Miserably.

Obama had good intentions. All he wanted to do was call a Floridian Congresswoman and congratulate her on her re-election. She hung up on his phone call. Not once, but TWICE. Being particularly unimpressed with the fact that radio stations are CONSTANTLY pranking congressfolk imitating "important" politicians, the congresswoman took this fact for granted and assumed it was a common gag.

It wasn't.

Congresswoman Ileana Ros-Lehtinen was pretty set on not having a Palin-esque situation. It took retelling of an inside joke from Representative Howard Berman to convince this lovely lady that Obama ACTUALLY wanted to speak to her.

Obama gets this week's honor of being the Ditz Hero of the Week. He successfully managed to convince a congresswoman that he wasn't really himself, but that he can do a better impression of "Barack Obama" than the "guy who does it on Saturday Night Live".

BIRTHDITZ, Quarter Century & LOVIN' IT

Today, we honor Momma Ditz, who so carefully let me exit her womb some 25 years ago. I took this opportunity to send her a beautiful orchid in honor of OUR special day. She was very moved.

Oh right. Today's my BIRTHDAY. 25 years young. I have had a truly MAGICAL day so far. Top Kitten had a pile of BALLOONS sent to my office, Momma Ditz baked a pile of goodies for me to bring TO the office [I am 25 going on 8], Prince delivered BEAUTIFUL flowers, Worker Bee and I went out for a LOVELY klassy lunch [pogos and fries with gravy]. Toronto Kitten SANG ME A SONG. What a MARVELOUS DAY.

All the worker bees at my office gave me TONS of love and hugs and kisses. It's been - THUS FAR - my absolute TOP birthday.

Top Worker Bee told me that she hasn't seen anyone get as much birthday lovin' as this little Ditz. WELL OBVIOUSLY. EVERYONE LOVES THE DITZ!!

My day is FAR from over. Prince and I are going out for dinner shortly. I hope for something yummy and deep fried. Tomorrow, I'll do a birthday-gift round-up.

In the meantime, I'll let you laugh at the photos: Ditz at her desk with her BALLOONS and Ditz posing like a NEB with her balloons and flowers. Momma Ditz forced Kiddo to stage this PHOTO-OP.

I am such a birthday pest.