Over-Enthusiastic Salesgirl = TRAUMA

OR
Why I am cautiously avoiding the ONLY Betsey Johnson store in Montreal.

Admittedly, I took a much-needed blogging break. I was/am lazy. That's my only excuse. However, I return with the story of a lifetime - at least I think it is!

For a change, I have a string of fancy events that required major outfit calculations. Mostly heavy accessorizing, because my closet is FULL of cute/fun/fancy wear. So, in my outfit conceptualization - yes, that's right, I make outfit CONCEPTS before execution - I decided that for event #1, an outdoor engagement party, I would wear my beloved Betsey Johnson polka dotted tulle skirt, a loose silky camisole and a chunky necklace. I figured I'd pick up a new necklace - or earrings or whatever - at one of two fun places: Aqua Skye or Betsey Johnson.

Aqua Skye was an easy store to get in and out of. The salesgirls, though helpful, felt it necessary to only show me merchandise OVER $300 - WAY beyond my budget, thank you very much - and the more "reasonably" priced jewelry was STILL too expensive and I honestly couldn't see myself wearing anything. Hit or miss, that Aqua Skye.

Enter Betsey Johnson.

Allow me to preface by saying that this store can DO NO WRONG. I love the cupcake dresses, I love the kitsch, I LOVE the bows and tulle and polka dots. Betsey Johnson was made for me. Truth be told, the vast majority of my Betsey merchandise hails from Winners, not the flagship. Whatever - a deal's a deal! Also, I am QUEEN of talking it up with salespeople. I LOVE a good store-merch conversation. I know my stuff - mostly, or I heavily pretend like I do - and I love a good chitchat. The Betsey staff are usually overly aggressive and friendly, yet tolerable. That being said, I was NOT prepared for this.

Within an instant of walking into the empty-except-for-two-clerks store, the female clerk RAN UP TO ME and shoved a purse in my face, shrieking "OH MY GOD ISN'T THIS THE CUTEST PURSE EVER? WE JUST GOT IT IN ISN'T IT CUTE????"

To which, I was confused, but appeased her and told her it was very nice (it was okay at best).

I then sauntered to the sales racks - that's where a recessionista fashionista goes first! - and the clerk FOLLOWED ME and exclaimed, "JUST SO YOU KNOW WE HAVE MORE SIZES IN THE BACK AND THESE TWO RACKS ARE THE SALES RACKS!!!!"

Well, duh. It's not the first time I've set foot into your store.

I figured I'd been aloof enough to keep her away. I wasn't. Because I was in the shopping zone, and because I was just plain trying to ignore her, I didn't pay attention when she said "SO, DO YOU HAVE PLANS FOR THIS WEEKEND??"

I turned around, and saw her standing about an inch away from my nose. The following is exact verbatum of the conversation that ensued:

"Umm, are you talking to me???"

"YA!! SO ARE YOU GOING OUT THIS WEEKEND??"

"I think so."

"WHERE TO? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? ARE YOU GOING TO GO TO A BEACH? ARE YOU GOING TO SIT BY THE POOL? ARE YOU GOING TO GO TAN AND ENJOY THE SUMMER HEAT????"

"I don't know."

To which, I thought she MAY have gotten the hint. I honestly had originally thought she was talking to the other salesperson. Why would this LUNATIC engage me in heavy conversation, when I was clearly ignoring her?

I continued on my way around the store, casually looking at what was new. I literally ran my fingers over this dress - NO I'M NOT CRAZY AND 16 AND I WAS NOT GOING TO EVEN TRY IT ON, I WAS JUST CURIOUS ABOUT THE BOW (which is fully detachable and cute, FYI) - and the NUTCASE barked across the store,

"OH MY G-D THAT'S THE CUTEST DRESS EVER IT'S SO CUTE OH MY G-D YOU SHOULD TOTALLY TRY IT ON IT WOULD LOOK SO AWESOME ON YOU OH MY G-D IT'S SO CUTE!!!!!"

I swear I'm not exaggerating.

And with that, I ran - not walked - out of the store faster than you can say CREEP.

I actually never got to look at their jewelry case.