I'll Take a Side of SALT with that BURN, Please.

I got a beautiful envelope in the mail today. It was from one of my former places of employment, a government-run health & social services clinic. I used to work there as a receptionist, on and off since 2003. Long time, I know.

You would think that an organization that had employed me for say, 7 years, would have a good idea as to who I am.

WRONG - O.

You'd think that their human resources department would be able to differentiate between names typically given to men, versus names typically given to females, right?

NOPE. INCORRECT.

(I smudged out my address for privacy's sake... and plus, I'm not interested in invoking my mother's infamous "PRIVACY AND THE INTERNET" speech, TYVM. If you want to send me postcards, chain letters [REMEMBER THOSE?!] or packages, you may email me privately for my address. I like mail. NOT THIS KIND, BUT GENERALLY, YES.)

Sorry, okay. Do we see the problem here? MONSIEUR JACLYN. As in MISTER.

I understand that this is a French-speaking organization, and I understand that in the normal part of the world, "Jaclyn" is commonly spelled "Jacqueline" (or some variant of that). But really? This envelope contained a letter pretty much excommunicating me from this clinic (not in a bad way, I swear) and detailing when I worked there and for how long and informed me that I no longer work for them - AND I WON'T IN THE FUTURE. So not only did they CALL ME A MAN, but they ALSO reminded me that my tenure with them is O-V-E-R.

For the record, my name is spelled JACLYN because I was named after Jaclyn Smith, of Charlie's Angels & K-Mart sassy clothes collection fame. Clearly that HR rep never caught an episode of Charlie's Angels. You can't mistake Jaclyn Smith for a MAN.

Now, on the topic of BURNS, I guess I should share a funny/unfunny. It's a good news/bad news type of deal. I've been plagued, as I say, with mild psoriasis since as far back as I can remember. It's not always been a treat. Wearing pants in the summer or explaining why it looks like I have a bunch of mosquito bites on my knees was hardly ever fun. I'm lucky, in a sense, that it's always been fairly manageable. This year, for whatever reason, it started getting out of hand, and a new dermatologist recommended I start undergoing UVB treatment - which is essentially fake tanning, but healthy, covered by medicare and extremely beneficial for my skin.

I go 2-3 times a week, and I'm almost done my treatment and the results are just unreal. It's fantastic, which is good news. Because it's UVB lights, I also get a SLIGHT tan from my continued treatment - also good news.

Here's the bad news: too much exposure can cause a bit of a sunburn.

My entire body is sunburnt. My face has these fantastic marks from where my protective goggles lie. My arms are in this perma-Barbie arms position, straightening them out HURTS. My back? A MESS. My mother had to rub aloe on my back before. DIDN'T HELP. My nose hurts when I wrinkle it. Classic nose burn. I guess it's kind of funny, given that it's FEBRUARY and I did NOT spend my holidays down South.

BUT REALLY, IT'S NOT. I AM IN AN AWKWARD AMOUNT OF PAIN.

The fabulous part though, is that my skin isn't even red. It's just this heavenly deep tan. Guess I shouldn't complain much, right?

And on a SHOPPING Note...

I admittedly enjoy online shopping more than I should. It's just easy, you know? Click, buy, mail, package, FUN!! I have memberships at all the big online flash sale shops: Gilt/Fuse, Hautelook, RueLaLa (even though they don't ship to Canada, I like to look!!), Beyond the Rack. When I decided to curb my spending (unemployment does that to you), I deactivated all daily/weekly/monthly emails from all of the above sites, except BTR - they're Canadian, I couldn't - to resist temptation. The less I see, the less I buy, right?

Wrong.

I still totally order occasionally from BTR. I have some goodies from La Fee Verte hopefully coming next week. I had $10 credit AND they were selling bustiers for $22. That's beyond cheaper than even the plainest one at Victoria's Secret OR La Senza. AND I have a La Senza discount card. Still a better deal.

BTR is disappointing on most days. A J Brand denim sale sounds amazing, but it'll have 4 pairs of jeans - and priced at $129+. Not awesome, BTR. They had a "Designer Handbag Clearance". Mega SNORE. Miu Miu bags over $600. Ancient Balenciaga bags over $1000. Clearance? ON WHAT PLANET?!

I visited Hautelook 2 days ago, for the first time in months, just to have a peek at what I've been missing. THEY had a "Designer Handbag Clearance". (Click images to enlarge and to induce indigestion)

I visited it probably 12 hours too late. While I may NOT be in the market for a new Fendi purse, had I logged into Hautelook on time, I'd probably be having a GLORIOUS photoshoot involving me smooching a brand-spanking-new Fendi bag.

I guess it's all for the best, right? A Fendi would take my love away from every other materialistic/designer thing I own. My smooches should be reserved for my Prince.

WHO AM I KIDDING?

I'VE BEEN KICKING MYSELF IN THE SHINS EVER SINCE I SAW WHAT I'D MISSED.

And yes. Those ARE the real prices. $200 range. NOT. FAIR.

2010 - New Year/I'm Back?

So it's not exactly NEWS anymore that we've hit a new decade. WHOOPIE-DOO. Even though it's been two weeks since New Year's, I've been itching and trying to formulate a great 'Welcome Back to Blogging, Anecditz' post.

That's right. I'm back.

With 2009 over, and a new decade on the loose, I decided that I'd had enough of my own time-wasting. 2010, for me, is all about finishing what I've started, and taking on new challenges. I turned 26 at the end of 2009, and I looked around and realized that time isn't slowing down, and I've watched countless friends pass me by in their "success".

2009 wasn't a waste for me, don't get me wrong. I met my soul mate in 2008, and we cultivated our love in 2009. Now, in 2010, we anxiously await our next steps together. I finished my Certificate in Public Relations in 2009, making me "capable" of practicing PR. That's the first post-CEGEP academic accomplishment I can claim, and I am darn proud. 2009 marked my return to my undergrad. 2010 will mark my triumphant program switch, from Mathematics & Statistics (really? Yes.) to Journalism. Still debating between Broadcast and Print.

I paid a pretty penny in 2009 for the building and domain purchase of my other blog, Craft with Jackie, and I disappointed both myself AND readers by not posting aggressively or at all. I think I wrote 10 posts. (Okay, I checked - 21 posts. Still not impressive AT ALL.)

And so, for my own sanity's sake, my New Year's resolution/personal goal is to finish what I've started.

Things I need to finish/continue, in no particular order:

• Blogs. Both of them.
• Keeping my closets clean. Both of them.
• Bachelor's Degree. Any discipline other than Math that drives my soul. That means Journalism. Or Culinary school. Or Clown College.
• Being lazy and not taking care of my body. That means Wii Fit. Yoga. Treadmill. Whatever.
• My love for the kitchen. Baking.
• Get a job in my field. PR. Writing. Anything!

2010 marks a new beginning. Instead of this blog chronicling my bad-ass shopping addiction - that I am SLOWLY working on curbing - it'll follow my changes. Getting in shape. Finishing school. Feeding my Love baked treats.

Okay, and yes. Shopping.

"Is Butter a Carb?"

Today's lesson:

"When lending out DVDs or books [or clothing for that matter], make yourself a list of what's gone out IN THE EVENT THAT IT NEVER COMES BACK."

I lent a friend a pile of DVDs and books approximately over a year ago. It took over 6 months to get 4 of the books back. I was overly gracious and overly confident - at the time - and didn't bother writing down what was lent. BIG MISTAKE.

I don't even know what's missing anymore. Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (book, not DVD) never came back, but the other 3 books in the series did. Thirteen (movie featuring Evan Rachel Wood and Nikki Reed - fantastic) is missing from my collection, but Summer Sisters, the BEST Judy Blume book since Forever... came back in one piece.

But really, those are the only things I can identify.

Why is this even a problem? I keep taking trips to Wal-Mart (like I will be later this afternoon) and I always saunter by the cheapie DVD racks, DYING to look through. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M MISSING AND WHAT TO REPLACE.

I have the most obnoxious DVD collection ever. It's 99% BAD girlie movies from the 80s-90s.
[Sidenote: I just glanced at the shelves - I am also missing Say Anything - John Cusack at his finest.] Ugh. It drives me bonkers that I just don't know what's missing.

So, today's lesson: WRITE THINGS DOWN. KEEP INVENTORY. Why? Because when you lose touch with the person who has your treasured books/DVDs, you're going to want to replace them. Stat.

"But THAT Should TOTALLY Work"

Due to a lack of French Vanilla coffee pods in my kitchen, and the fact that regular coffee sends me to the bathroom faster than a McDonald's cheeseburger, I put a splash of chocolate milk in my afternoon coffee.

Yes, in addition to both regular milk AND sugar.

Result?

Delicious central.

Secondary result?

Bathroom expedition took approximately 50% less time than a usual coffee.


AWESOME!!!

Things That Are Annoying

1. Out of the 4 courses I am taking this semester, only one has a final exam. It's NOT annoying that I only have one exam and that I wish I had more - my one exam takes place on December 23rd, at 2 p.m., a.k.a. the last possible day for exams, or, I do not get to possibly go on vacation (or enter hibernation) until the last possible day.
2. My top-notch cute as a button awesome -and only- black leather jacket has mysteriously grown a slight tear on its sleeve. How that got there, BEATS ME. What am I going to do about it? Fix it. How? Let's not go there. It's going to be a long documented trial. Any ideas?

I Know How I Feel About Fakes...

But really, I'm willing to cave.

We all saw the SATC movie. We all fell in love with Manolo Blahnik's "Something Blue". With a price tag of $945 USD, I cannot rationalize that purchase EVER. I'd sell all my purses in exchange for these. Forget that they were featured in the movie - I couldn't care less. It's that cobalt blue satin color that reeled me in. The classic shape. The TO-DIE-FOR jeweled buckle.

$945 is still WAY over budget, especially when shoe budget is between $5 and $25 these days. NOT MUCH I CAN BUY WITH THAT.

And, despite being fervently morally opposed to anything NOT real, I came across these guys and have signed up for an email notification for when my size will be available. IF EVER.

These are the real Something Blues:Excuse me while I mop up my drool puddle.

And these self-loathing Martinez Valero "Zenith" pumps are the knock-offs:

At $159.99 USD, these guys aren't such a bargoon either, but I'm plenty positive that blowing 2 bills on shoes is SLIGHTLY more reasonable than blowing close to 10 bills on the real ones.


Now, before ANYONE jumps down my throat for promoting fakes, let's play a round of clarifications:

• I am NOT suggesting anyone purchase shoes from those "cheap" Louboutin/Manolo sites - those are fully fake and for LOSERS.
• These pumps are really seasonal and trendy. By the time the next SATC movie comes out, there'll be a new Manolo endorsement.
• I own ONE pair of actual Manolos, so DON'T JUDGE ME for wanting these.
• Nobody should pay full price for things featured in a movie.

And speaking of shoesies, I ventured into Aldo for the first time in ages [lies, I bought awesome MBMJ-inspired lace-up booties over the summer] and they have AWESOME shoes in. Like even better for seasonal trends than Steve Madden, when we all know that SM knocks off EVERY designer shoe on the planet. Aldo, while they knock off EVERYTHING too - for some odd reason - seems to have hit the fall shoe nail on the head with great shoes. I was heavily impressed.

http://www.aldoshoes.com/ca-eng/women/boots/tall-boots/75426698-velardi/97 those guys? AWESOME. Over the knee AND heeled AND platformed. Delicious. You can just call me Vivian.

http://www.aldoshoes.com/ca-eng/women/pumps/almond-toe/76343755-fawson/12 the grey and taupe are suede. I used all my self-restraint and didn't even TRY these on, for fear I'd leave with them. Too yummy!!!

Of course, since shoesies that are YUMMY and cute and exciting aren't in this week's budget, I settled my shopping craving at Old Navy. With this dress. At $20 CAD + tax, I couldn't resist. I grabbed it in the grey/black combo. Adorable central!!! Now if I only had some beautifully fabulous thigh-high boots to go with it...