Are You Sure You Want That Elastic?

I sincerely love hilariously disturbing news bits.

http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2007-11/13/content_6251535.htm


Remember that trip you took to China? Remember those really cheap colorful hair elastics you found in the marketplace?

Unravel them. Find a used condom inside. Throw them out.

I'm not going to lie. This is completely revolting, BUT, also a strangely innovative use for used condoms. When I originally found this GEM, I understood that they were using FRESH "defective" condoms. UMM. NO. They're used. You can get diseases by putting it in your mouth. DELICIOUS!

I find this whole situation mindboggling. I LIKE the idea of recycle-cycling things that would normally be taking up space in our beautiful planet's landfills. I DON'T like the idea of companies HIDING crucial information about what they're selling you. Who do they think they are? Maple Leaf Foods?

What's next? Used Band-Aids as garnish in my martini? Pencil-shavings in my moisturizer?

This whole notion of companies hiding seemingly "useless" information isn't news. I just don't understand. Everything ALWAYS gets out into the media and public. WHY HIDE IT?

No, wait. Better question:

WHY ARE YOU HIDING USED CONDOMS IN HAIR ELASTICS?

Specimen Moment

Hello Kitten? This is for you.

Background information: Hello Kitten and I had a lovely shopping excursion a few weeks ago. We went to her beloved sneaky boutique and tried on the entire store. We're good like that. Hello Kitten was struggling to put on one dress, and upon exiting the fitting room, Friendly Salespet and I informed her that no, the dress isn't too small. Hello Kitten struggled because she didn't notice the INSIDE ZIPPER on the frock.

I laughed at Hello Kitten's mishap, saying "Oh, Ditz NEVER misses a zipper. Ditz is WAYYYY too smart to make mistakes LIKE THAT."

Uh huh.

Flash forward to this morning.

Ditz puts on a new frock that she purchased with Momma Ditz. STRUGGLES ENDLESSLY to get it over her head.

Mmm hmm. What did Ditz not notice? HIDDEN SIDE ZIPPER. Ditz = blind. Legally.

Seriously?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27065016/?GT1=43001

I don't even know where to begin on this one.

I find it completely unsettling that our friends in Nepal have named a 3 year old the latest living deity.

That's not my problem with this though. It's common in their culture to have baby girls as living gods. Okay, cool. I didn't say much when that impoverished village took that baby who was born with a few extra limbs and made her [or was it a him? I don't remember] a god. Same goes for the two-faced baby. Way to capitalize on birth defects. You don't see THAT in Cote St. Luc.

I actually read this entire article. It's short and "sweet". Usually, I read the bottom first, then scan the top for other important facts.

It's not the part about the tests that bother me. It's not even the fact that she's removed from her family until she becomes a biological woman.

It's this:
Critics say the tradition violates both international and Nepalese laws on child rights. The girls often struggle to readjust to normal lives after they return home.
Nepalese folklore holds that men who marry a former kumari will die young, and so many girls remain unmarried and face a life of hardship.

FOR 10 YEARS OF BEING A LIVING DEITY, THIS GIRL WILL NEVER HAVE A NORMAL LIFE WHEN IT'S OVER. Is it really worth it? SHE MAY NEVER GET MARRIED. How can this girl actually adjust to normal, impoverished Nepalese life after spending crucial years being prodded and worshiped by her village?

These girls are the pageant-heads of tomorrow.

GUESS WHAT SEASON IT IS??

3 WORDS:

1. SAMPLE
2. SALE
3. SEASON

I thought this time of year would NEVER COME.

So, because I love you all dearly and I implore you to shop like the Ditz, I list for you this month's - SO FAR - sample sales.

Rudsak [leather purses, jackets, accessories]: 9160 St. Laurent, Suite 202
October 16: 10 a.m. - 7 p.m.
October 17: 10 a.m. - 7 p.m.
October 18: 10 a.m. - 4 p.m.

Se Ce Apparel [Juicy Couture, Seven for all Mankind, Vince, Ed Hardy..]: 4910A Jean Talon W.
October 17: 9 a.m. - 7 p.m.
October 18: 10 a.m. - 4 p.m.

How International [C&C California, Joe's Jeans, Frankie B...]: 6585 St Urbain
October 23: 12 p.m. - 8 p.m.
October 24: 12 p.m. - 8 p.m.
October 25: 10 a.m. - 5 p.m.

Braderie de Mode Quebecoise [Mackage, Soia & Kyo, Rudsak...]: Marche Bonsecours
October 23: 10 a.m. - 9 p.m.
October 24: 10 a.m. - 9 p.m.
October 25: 10 a.m. - 5 p.m.
October 26: 10 a.m. - 5 p.m.

I'm sure you're all wondering what's what, what's worth going to, all those kinds of details. Allow me to proceed...

• Rudsak's exclusive sale is pretty decent. Know your prices. Snap up leather jackets if you find one you like. From what I remember, they take cash, credit cards, interac. They just want you to buy. It's worth it if you love Rudsak and/or leather
• Se Ce is that elusive Juicy sale that everyone raves about. That's the one you need to show up hours upon hours in advance. Is it worth it? Yes. Juicy suits at half price. Sevens for $100. Discounted Vince cashmere. They also take all forms of payment. It's obnoxious to wait in line for hours, but it's also obnoxious to pay $250+ for a Juicy velour track suit.
• How Int'l I don't know much about. I saw the event on Facebook. The flier seems pleasant. They ONLY take cash. Keep that in mind if you decide to go.
• Braderie de Mode Quebecoise is top notch. I try to make an appearance every time they have this sale [once in Fall, and once again in late Spring]. The Mackage & Soia & Kyo coats are on sale for MAJOR CHEAPS. They also have a Rudsak section, so if you miss the Rudsak sale, you still have a chance to pick up some purses. There are also piles of Quebec designers who set up shop with samples. Great place to pick up original and unique pieces. Mackage/Soia takes cash only. Most of the vendors are cash only. Marche Bonsecours happens to have an ATM, but bring cash if you're planning on spending.

Enjoy sweet kittens! Be fruitful and SHOP!

You're Going To Laugh...

I know I always talk shopping and shoes and things that are pretty. I know I also talk a lot about how much of a Ditz I am. I know you all LIKELY think that there's not much that goes on inside my head beyond Betsey Johnson, Coach, shoes, poutine, sparkly shiny objects and candy. THAT IS NOT THE CASE, MY PETS.

Sometimes, actually ALWAYS, I like to check out the hilarious headliners on the MSN homepage. I refuse to change my browser homepage to anything else, because I feel like it connects me to the world and/or current events.

http://tech.msn.com/products/slideshow.aspx?cp-documentid=10762232

Chill kittens. It's a slide show with minimal blurb writing article. You won't need to focus THAT MUCH.

I came across this article, partly because I was swayed by the title, and partly because I always read articles that have a picture of the Nintendo Wii on the front page. I'm a 15 year old boy sometimes.

The reason I draw your attention to this little gem is not what you're expecting. I'm not pushing you to run out and spend a fortune on the underrated products. Quite the opposite, actually...

A week or so ago, I discovered Google Documents, Google Calendar. A few months ago, I "bought" an iPod Touch. I drool when I see a Nintendo Wii [I'm currently thinking of elaborate ploys to permanently "borrow" my Prince Delish's Wii]. I secretly wish I wasn't so oddly cheap and used iTunes.

Why is this relevant?

I was going to post a blog endlessly and shamelessly promoting Google functions. I was going to talk about how Google Calendar is potentially the greatest thing to enter my life since Michael Kors and Marc Jacobs. I probably would have mentioned how Google Calendar has replaced my STUPID french agenda, because Google Calendar is ENGLISH [or any language you ask for, except Pirate English - anyone notice that on Facebook? ARRRRRR].

Check out the article. All the fun things that I love in the techworld ARE OVERRATED. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. From the Wii to iPhone, iPod Touch to iTunes. EVEN GOOGLE FUNCTIONS ARE THERE.

TYPICAL. I WOULD LIKE THINGS THAT ARE OVERRATED.

You know what else is overrated? Facebook.

Know what wasn't listed as overrated? My Blog.

Facebook: Friend or Foe?

For a change, I don't have anything negative to say about Mark Zuckerberg's latest changes. I'm a little bit used to New Facebook. I actually like it. Like really like it.

I was recently looking at friends' profiles [yes, I do that, and you do too, stop denying it] and marveling at how much I can learn about someone just by stalking their profile. Now, I know what you're thinking. THANKS CAPTAIN OBVIOUS. Obviously you can gather valuable information from a PERSONAL PROFILE, but that isn't my point. We're getting there.


I'm talking more about what your profile says about you. How many friends you have. How many tagged pictures, IF you allow people to see tagged pictures. Your wall posts. Your about me. Your status changes. How often you update your status, and what you're updating for.

I love Facebook. I think it's one of the most brilliant networking tools that exist today. I know this is an obvious topic to mention. Shoot me.

In an age where it's not uncommon to broadcast your entire life on the Internet, it's interesting to see who posts what, and where. I marvel at Facebook friends who post albums of their new haircut, who change their statuses to coordinate with their ever-changing schedule. Does anybody really care about your haircut? We don't care if you're eating soup for dinner for the 8th night in a row. We don't care if you're going to sleep early YET AGAIN. I'm not saying I'm a perfect Facebook specimen. I'm insanely guilty of a hectic profile.

It's curious what different people deem as appropriate amounts of personal information. I can't see your wall, but your list of favorite bands is extensive. You have 1034 friends, but you won't post a profile picture. Just how much information is too much?

Looking at assorted profiles, victims ranging in age, I can't make a serious hypothesis. Really, it depends on the user. Internet privacy is such a funny bird. Every time I add a new friend, I always check out my own profile. This is what they can see about me. Everything you see posted on my profile has a place. Everything has a reason. It's completely calculated. Have I put too much thought into my profile page?

Maybe you just haven't put enough into yours.

Take a good, hard, long look at your profile. Maybe you're revealing too much. Maybe you're not revealing enough. Time for a profile update!

Everything Is Changing.. And I Feel The Same

Sometimes, little Ditzes feel strangely in tune with nature.

I felt the changing of the seasons a few nights ago. The wind was out of control, blowing gusts through the changing leaves on the trees. I wished I'd thought of bringing gloves. I wished I knew where I put all those scarves of mine, because pashminas just DON'T CUT IT. I was infinitely thankful that I was wearing a sensible coat.

It's that time of year.

Leaves turning from green, to yellow, to orange and red.

So, with the changing of the seasons, I bring you some real changes. Seasons change. Life changes. Styles change. Fall is my season of rebirth. As celebration of these 6 months of AnecDitzisms, we're doing a teensy overhauling. Where do you all come in? I encourage you to comment. Tell me when you like something I write. Tell me when you disagree with me. Communicate with the Ditz. My changes won't be possible without your cooperation. Don't let the Ditz down.

I'm going to be more consistent in my postings, I need to decide on which days I'll officially be posting, because we ALL know me writing every single day is so not realistic. And so not happening. YET.